My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

June 30, 2009

how to jump a diesel

photo posted from my iPhone
With it’s twin batteries it took my whole fleet to get the Ford started. That’s my motorcycle ready to run for help.

mornin’ sunshine

photo posted from my iPhone
Here’s a sure sign you have four women staying with you -I came out into the kitchen this morning to find a pair of underduds drying on the doorknob. Every good host should have a drying rack for the silky stuff. Now I know.

June 29, 2009

quadruple dutch

photo posted from my iPhone
So the Dutch girls arrived yesterday. Steve sent them out from Massachusetts. They’ll be staying for four days. I took them immediately to The Lexington bar. It’s hard to know where to take four college girls from Amsterdam when your idea of a good time includes a trip to the dump and throwing rocks at street signs. The Lexington, a lesbian bar, was packed out the door since it was Pride weekend. They aren’t lesbians so it wasn’t so much fun for them. I’ll never be a tour guide.

“What do you call ‘going dutch’ in the Netherlands?” I asked.

“Splitting the bill,” she said with a withering tone.

“Do you know what Double Dutch means?” I asked, not catching on that this was racist and offensive.

“When the man wears a condom even though the girl is on the pill,” she said.

It was news to me. We googled it. She’s right.

June 28, 2009

photo posted from my iPhone
This is my working man’s work glove tribute to Micheal Jackson.

June 27, 2009

car art

photo posted from my iPhone
“It must take some balls jumpin’ in that thing every mornin’.”

“It’s car art!”

“Yeah? I don’t like it.”

Overheard on the street at Fillmore and Geary.

June 26, 2009

tonite i connect

How do edible undies work? What are you eating? An edible fabric? Is it made of fruit leather? Perhaps just the crotch is made of gum. Other than gum, very few foods are flexible enough to withstand so much movement. Bananas wouldn’t work. Sushi probably would. Or licorice. But what about the elastic waist?

If life begins at conception, could a man who has coitus with his pregnant wife be accused of child molestation?

Good night internet.

June 25, 2009

life in the big city

photo posted from my iPhone

Went out to Poll’s motorcycle shop with my pal Erik to ask a few questions. There’s always folks hanging around, including this archer who started shooting at a box across the street.

bag of booze

photo posted from my iPhone

Collin used to drink box wine, now he drinks booze bags. They come in the ice cream cooler at a liquor store around the corner. Frozen daiquiris with liquor already in it. Brilliant.

June 24, 2009


photo posted from my iPhone
Haven’t seen Rusty Sunshine in months. First thing he does is show me the John Deere he got for a song. “Even has power steering,” he crooned.

June 23, 2009

that’s doug’s banjo hand!

photo posted from my iPhone
He said, “it won’t matter for this band.”

Doug fell into the campfire.

in the warm california sun

photo posted from my iPhone

June 22, 2009

meet the competition

photo posted from my iPhone

June 21, 2009

garbage is made in the dark

photo posted from my iPhone
I was loading at ten pm the other night. Got over a ton of weight in there!

you’ll never sell anything without a before picture

photo posted from my iPhone
Tall weeds, overgrown jade tree, sickly bulb plants. Dead leaves from the avocado tree everwhere and cement covered in dirt. Me and the fellahs put a good sprucing to it.

is this the street with irish worker’s?

photo posted from my iPhone

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