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My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

October 31, 2007


I had a load of 12 foot white oak church pews in the truck today. My truck was dressed up like a house of worship for halloween. These are now in the driveway, waiting for the just the right buyer with a 12 foot empty space in their house.

October 30, 2007

halloween costume ideas

These girls were like twin sisters of incest with hillbilly dresses and long braids. They looked awesome!
This guy carved a real pumpkin and put it on his head. Plus he had straw coming out of his shirt so he looked like a scarecrow. Then he smoked a bowl. 1007doub.jpg
Last but not least, in a pinch go as yourself and see who people think you are. Doug, on the left, did this and people thought he was Jerry Garcia. The guy on the right was completely passed out by the time we got to the party. That’s another option.


October 29, 2007

walking tractor

This is cool.

October 28, 2007

we need to work against something

Carpentry is about bonding things together. You hold this piece of wood to this piece of wood and hope it to stay there. Often wood is bonded to wood by metals. Metal rods usually, called nails or screws. Lags or bolts. pins and needles back and forth. grain against grain against the elements and a weight pulling down we have termed gravity. We need to work against something.

a message from deep in new england…


thanks to J Landry for this

October 27, 2007

are you gay yet?

Living as long as I have in San Francisco, I get that question a lot. And many of you remember Matt Conway, my current roommate and friend from the radio station days at UNH back in the early 90’s. So now we take a look at Matt and ask him this: How has San Francisco changed you?


I’ve been all over the city tonight, stopped at Dick’s and he gave me a box of 45 rpm’s. Dick is an elderly hustler. Not sexual…a record hustler. He’s been in the business since the age of 9. He refuses to go on camera or use his whole name out of fear of his home being robbed. A home, I might add, whose walls are lined with lead in order to keep the noise down. A true music man.
Dick has a record collection of 78’s that R. Crumb would envy. The earliest of anything, blues, jazz, country, gospel. He knows the bass lines that we all know, but he knows the first time they ever appeared on vinyl. That standard blues melody, that old familiar progression, they all originated somewhere and then caught on – Dick is the man who has the proof they were invented and copied, not eternal…
Here’s a Japanese 45 from the box he gave me. I’ve given him 10 or so 78’s over the last few years and he has always promised to get me some old Mexican “ranchero” records – the early southern neighbor of country western. Instead he pawns off a box of strange 45’s, but this one caught my eye. As soon as I get the needle repaired on my machine, I’ll report back. But I know Dick’s a hustler, so I don’t expect too much. I enjoy his company so I let it pass.

stay tuned to learn some English in Japanese in the coming week…

October 25, 2007

We Learn About The World And We Learn About Ourselves

I was up on a ladder today and it was cold in San Francisco. I picked one foot up and let it hang off the side so while I hand-sanded the shake would travel out that loose leg and not rock the ladder. Glenn got up from the stairs he was building and said,

“If they ever give me an award for something, you know how people always say ‘I’d like to thank God, and my producer, and my family…’? When I get my award I’m gonna thank the absence of God.”

Then Glenn said, “I need a damn beer” and went and got one out of the styrofoam cooler.

October 24, 2007

no pissing


Just down the road from the site where I’m working I saw this sign. Some people are hard to deal with, they want things a certain way right down to banning dogs from urinating in public.
I work with a guy like that, everything is so precise to him.

“Take that bucket and fill it 5/8ths full of water” he told me today. As if mixing 9 yards of concrete needs measurements that precise.

“We need to humor our elders Jon. Don’t respect them, just humor them,” Glenn said to me. That’s why I like working with Glenn.

October 23, 2007

josh millar and my dying wish

these are the lyrics to the song that’s about to break your heart

When someone close to you dies, you can use that death to bully people into doing things for you…I stooped that low and Josh Millar recorded perhaps the BEST SONG EVER, a song so passionately recorded it felt like he tackled my balls, and he did it for for all of us, SO THANK HIM!

Please take a moment and listen to Kevin King as recorded by JOSH MILLAR, who sings, whistles and plays a melody inspired by the BOSS, bruce springsteen himself, all for the memory of my grandmother, PAPER, GRAMMY FU FU!!!!

p.s. I’m so drunk right now this doesn’t feel in poor taste, I know Josh knew my grams and he even painted some of the walls in her house once, along with Marika, and I miss those two good new hampshire people like I miss my grandmother, and the truth is when someone dies you put a pile of to do things away and say, “What’s it really matter?” and you also ask people to do things for you because you need to know they care, and I really wanted to be able to listen to josh sing this song when ever I need to, and he came through, so that’s what this is about. Thanks Josh.

October 22, 2007

Ruth Carlton at rest


I never knew Jack Carlton, my grandfather. He was a Marine, got injured and died later of his wounds. I didn’t know his family that well either – he was from the south shore of Massachusetts and my grandmother was from the same town I grew up, so I knew her side of the family.
The interesting thing about a funeral is what you learn about your family, the living and the dead. I suppose it’s the only time people dare to take time off from work and gather together and drink alcohol and talk. So I learned a lot about my grandfather and my grandmother and right on down the line.
If you’re ever debating whether or not to go to a funeral, I’d say go and hopefully it will be as rewarding as the one I attended…

October 21, 2007

public transport


junk mail

I got sucked back in for one last job…help a team sell a $7,000 couch. I thought I was done with the junk mail factory…we went up to where the California Cheese commercials are filmed and put this couch down in a field of cow shit. Then we drove it down the road and put it in front of these rocks. Coming to a magazine near you…

knife chaser


colonial celtic’s jumpball


from the found art file…

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