My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

you know you’ve made it when they name a donut after you. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

this is proof that they used to make really weird handkerchiefs.

It looks like she is standing in front of a picture of trees.

painting by Jarid del Deo

Jarid drank too much. But I liked him. He was an artist.

“I’m painting the lesser known birds of the Northwest. The grayish brown ones that no one cares about. Not birds of prey. Not eagles. No hawks. Just dirty little birds that sing songs.”

I made you this hat for your 61st birthday!

I got to announce the names at California College of the Arts Fashion show again this year. Here is Amy Morrell showing off her horns. It was rad. As my mother says at the end of any letter she writes me, “If the teacup doesn’t knock the pot roast off the table, I’ll tell you the rest of the story later.”

So we played a show the other night at Kimo’s, a bar downtown that used to be the epicenter of San Francisco gay life. Now it is known for the transvestite hookers. After the show this fine creature came stumbling down the sidewalk saying, “They call us tranimals” and tried to seduce Doug by showing him she could do a full split. Doug’s girlfriend Jenny was there and sister swung the banjo case hard and fast and probably saved the whole band. Thanks Jenny.

This is a scene from the movie Zac shot the other day. The intestines are made out of paper towels and latex and red dye.

anyone know what language that top sign is in?

Doug is working out what is known as a “dolly shot” in the industry for a movie we are working on today. That’s the director, Zac, doing what is known as “dollying” in the industry with the luggage rack from the Motel Capri which is our location this afternoon.

we go to work and do the same thing every day and wonder what it’d be like to be really wealthy and not have to work. we dream about sleeping in late. having nice things to look at when we finally wake up. just lay in bed and enjoy the view. rich people have great views. for us it’s not so great.

She likes to shop. Even grocery shop. I never understood it. Guess it makes her feel like chopping wood makes me feel. But I don’t chop wood everyday. I don’t think it’d feel the same if I did. But she goes right on loving it.

I drove up into wine country today. Saw this guy at a street light. Just like back in the city he was standing there hollering at people who stopped for the light. Asking for money. But this being Napa Valley, he was trying to sell $5,000 bottles of wine. At the stop light.

I pulled over and talked to him. He didn’t appear insane. He just wanted “to raise some noise” about great deals on wine. Check Joshua out at thewineselection.org

Doug’s cat Bird caught a little mouse and brought it in the kitchen. It’s like when your parents first heard you have sex. They’re proud you’re all grown up but totally revolted at what you’ve done in their house.

Does everyone know the dirty joke that has this as it’s punch line?

I own about forty feet of trucks now. This is my mini-fleet. The white box truck is a 1992 GMC with an aluminum 12 foot box on the back. Bought it two days ago. You all know the brown bearded lady from yore.

it was ladies night in the richmond and we sat at the table and cut up old pieces of paper to make new images and we talked about life. sorry you missed it.

They push their carts down the street, right in the street. It doesn’t matter. There’s more money in lawsuits than aluminum cans. But if they don’t get hit they still have enough for a room and a bottle at the end of the day.

Locke and I were working on Sally’s manure bin. It got crowded when Rus tried to back the cement truck in there. This is a ridiculous attempt at innuendo. Anyone else want to make a joke about building a manure bin?

She was wearing a strapless dress and said she felt like a slut because of it. I was trying to decide whether I’d have another and find out or just finish this one and go. There was enough in the glass for one more awkward pause before it’d be empty. I had to make up my mind.

“I’ve never wanted to be an actor, but I always wanted to be a re-en-actor. Like people who work at colonial villages and churn butter for tourists,” she said.

It was a little after seven pm. If I had another I wouldn’t be able to stop. I’d be drinking straight on till I passed out.

“But I’d do crime shows on tv too. Re-en-act the woman who gets tied up and raped on America’s Most Wanted. That’d be fun.”

She was sitting on my left at the bar. She was moving ice cubes with the little red straw from her drink. I had the pint glass in my hand with one edge of it on the bar and I was making the last swallow jiggle at the bottom. We both looked straight ahead and slightly down at the rows of booze behind the counter. Strange brands. I guess it was well stuff. I’d never seen the labels or heard the names before in my life. I began to suspect an Asian man owned the bar. Or a Mexican. Someone with ties to another country. Where things were different.

“I think those roles would be easier for me. You gonna have another drink?” She asked.

Of course I was. I don’t know why I tell myself I’ll just have one. That’s not how it works around here.