My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

May 31, 2011

safe food handling

The American diner is a steady fixture throughout the country. Here in San Francisco Asians are the predominant owners of the local greasy spoon. You can get a chocolate shake and a side of pot stickers.

Out in the Sunset where I had lunch today, these folks pile their meat in a shopping cart and let it thaw by the bathroom.


only in sf, or hell


I did a u turn and stood in the rain to bring you this one, and now I’m late. Worth it though.

May 30, 2011

this is a penis pump


my legs get tired from watching stand up

It “Dawn”-ed on me the other day, prisons would be a lot safer with liquid soap in those showers. In the case of dishwashing, we’ve had the technology for 60 years at least.

Unless wardens, or society at large, feel like bar soap is appropriate punishment for prisoners. Is it so? Do you think a group shower with violent sex weird criminals should also include the thrill of dropping your soap and being forced to present your rear to physically powerful mentally unstable rapists?

Liquid soap. It could change a generation.


That there’s Collin doing an imitation of Doug doing stand up. Doug performed his debut act in front of a paying audience last night at the Purple Onion, a legendary funky basement comedy venue.

He killed it. Later, after drinks in North Beach, we stopped for pizza where Collin was inspired to retell a few of Doug’s best lines.

Doug is moving to LA in two weeks. I hear they like funny people there so I know he’ll be all right, but I’m gonna miss him.

May 28, 2011

They call this generation the millennial’s.  I call them the liquid soap generation. When I was a kid we had a bar of soap that required you to scrub it under water to agitate out soap bubbles. We were practicing science. This generation waves their hand in front of an electric eye and gel squirts out. They’re unwitting magicians. Voilà!  Clean hands. 

As i write this, liquid soap is already on it’s way to obsolescence. Foam is the next generation.  The culture gap never slams shut. It just continues gapping. 

May 26, 2011

too much sanitizer

At the bank teller window?


I looked around for the urinal so I could take a slash while they processed my checks.

May 24, 2011

good ol days

Carmelo is in his late 60′s. His mother passed away recently, he’d been living with her at the end to take care of her. It’s so wonderful to hear stories of the old days.

“Women didn’t have opportunities to work like they do today and everybody was poor so getting a girl to suck your dick for ten bucks was easy. I mean nice girls, not these drug addicts you see walking the streets today.”

When those women’s studies majors talk about the repression of women, no one wants to hear it. But there it is: keep ‘em poor so we can fuck ‘em.

May 22, 2011

most bad ass mime ever

San Francisco mimes are NOT to be played with.


May 21, 2011

wtbh? (bloody hell?)

Stick with me. The shark tank where San Jose’s hockey team plays. One of the few Spanish hockey teams. A plaque for John Ralston, celebrated football coach in the hall. I’m there to see a Prince concert.


May 20, 2011

car hoarder

I sense a spin off…


May 19, 2011

high hills


Russian’s opened a new business down the block. Repairing high hills and work booths.

May 18, 2011



I checked eBay for a value but saw none. 1987 version 2 of Microsoft Windows in the box with 5 1/4 floppy disks. Any guess as to worth? Wanna trade for a sawzall?

May 17, 2011


May 16, 2011

chicken bone donut


Stoped by Bob’s, my favorite donut shop in the city. The lady took a phone call from some prankster. Asked if they had a chicken bone donut. They don’t, but a fried chicken donut sounds good.

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