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tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

August 29, 2009

piss jugs


I looked under the blanket of a homeless guy’s shopping cart and there were all these piss jugs! Why didn’t he just piss on the street like a drunk 24 year old?


  1. because that stuff’s good for two more trips thru the body.

    Comment by don lawn — August 29, 2009 @ 7:51 pm

  2. and why the fuck did he KEEP them?! (oh, god, don lawn…NOOOOOO!)

    Comment by molly — August 30, 2009 @ 4:46 pm

  3. I love that piss jugs are an easily identifiable object. Well, I guess I like that they are already a familiar concept.

    I know a boy with piss jugs all over his room (he used to have them). He also had meat hanging out his window in the winter. It’s all about convenience, I reckon.

    Comment by erin — August 30, 2009 @ 6:40 pm

  4. it’s also antiseptic, i think

    Comment by donny laundry — August 30, 2009 @ 7:23 pm

  5. Ugh, I really wish I didn’t have several full piss jugs in my van. But I do. I’m no expert, but I guess I can explain how it comes to be. You see, homeless people are like normal people in that they have reasoning ability, plans, but the realities of homelessness usually lead the plans to be abandoned halfway through. So, This man is wise enough not to piss where he sleeps (the drunk 24 year old probably won’t be sleeping in the alley he pisses in. this guy will). so he will piss in the jug and then on his rounds picking up trash and spare hamburger buns he will pour it out on the lawn of city hall or in a bathroom on market or down the storm drain. anywhere that will not lead back to his carboard bed. simple, unless you are homeless.
    but, and here is the tasty details of the homeless life, one thing leads to another. His tumor needs immediate attention. Or maybe he senses that all the forces of the universe are trying to kill him and he hides. or his cough never gets better and he things, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will go out.”

    now, this man is probably drinking a bit, and I don’t mean organic Goji berry juice. so while this might be an amount of piss for two or three days for normal people, this guy’s liver probably barely works, his urinary tract infection and prostate problems all make him piss unexpectedly and regularly and often. Thus many jugs of piss that pile up.

    I don’t want to judge him. Maybe he has plans that would defy all logic. But I suspect he gets a bit lazy when it comes to certain projects…and dumping his piss jugs down a storm drain is one of those back burner projects. see? he WANTS to get rid of them…but it just has to wait for the right time. he probably has a few citations for public urination and has to do it secretly.

    that’s his deal. I’m not much different. I live in a van. no bathroom. The streets of l.a. are not an appropriate place to dump piss. I like to pick up trash as I move from one neighborhood to another, not dump body waste. So I piss in a jug and shit in a bag and then take the waste to a bathroom and get rid of it. That’s the IDEAL situation. what really happens is I wake up to someone trying to put a boot on my van. I escape with many angry words. Drive until I find a place to park, nowhere near a public bathroom. Get a call to help move a sofa. off I go. and when I get back I have to piss and move the van and another angry homeowner is eyeing me from his fence. I leave and go to the beach and it is full so I can’t walk down there with jugs of piss and bags of shit. so I wait. but I can’t stay after dark without getting a ticket so I leave and end up under a bridge where…homeless people with jugs of piss are hanging out drinking and playing guitar and we sing some songs together and get high. so you see the circle never ends. I can’t fuck up their home by pouring out my piss just like I would not appreciate their dumping their piss and shit into my van. so I hold onto it for another day, promising myself that I definitely will get rid of it tomorrow.
    this is not a sustainable arrangement…I know. but it is part of my quest for a globally sustainable lifestyle. maybe the homeless dude is part of a greater movement of radical simplicity.

    hope that answers some questions.

    Comment by oggy bleacher — August 30, 2009 @ 8:21 pm

  6. grand post, og.

    can you get a public urination citation for dumping piss in a storm drain?

    also a pretty extensive and interesting wikipedia page on urine.


    which led me to the bristol stool scale. i’ll let you look that one up yourselves.

    Comment by don lawn — August 30, 2009 @ 8:28 pm

  7. and welcome back to the states. i enjoyed following your trip from bike building at target to being a loser in L.A.

    Comment by don lawn — August 30, 2009 @ 8:29 pm

  8. Today the local bum told me that he sells his piss for $10.00 a gallon.
    At that point I had not seen this post, but maybe your bum does the same.

    Comment by Poll — September 1, 2009 @ 5:05 pm

  9. That was a real insiders scoop Oggy, thanks. and Poll, you gotta find out who’s buying piss.

    Comment by Rolston — September 1, 2009 @ 7:18 pm

  10. People who have to get drug tested buy piss. That might include parolees and regular employees, like for example bus drivers. As long as that homeless guy is a trustworthy old school wino without a taste for illegal drugs, his piss might help others out…

    Comment by Dastard — September 3, 2009 @ 5:16 pm

  11. haha, that reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine takes some old lady’s pee and submits it as her own. She passes the drug test but isn’t allowed to go on her trip because she’s diagnosed with severe osteoporosis. Surely the guy who needs a cup of piss can do better than buying a cup from some unhealthy vagrant?

    Comment by Lyle_s — September 4, 2009 @ 7:57 am

  12. maybe the guy bought all that piss.

    Comment by donny laundry — September 5, 2009 @ 3:01 pm

  13. he cant afford alcohol so he buys pee from other bums whose livers can’t process all the alcohol out.

    Comment by donny laundry — September 5, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

  14. gross

    Comment by Rolston — September 6, 2009 @ 1:33 am

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