My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

An older man laid off the bottle 3 months ago and decided he finally had the time to clean up his place so the exterminator could come and do his thing. The landlord was insisting.
Drinking sure takes up a lot of one’s time. If ballerinas dance and drinkers drink the drinker is going to have a much messier apartment. You need some room to dance.
An old lonely drunk gets to be a pack rat, placing boxes in the hall, then mail on the box, then a sweater, then the recycling he will bring down tomorrow, more mail, throw a towel over it and start a new pile.
It doesn’t take too many years of drinking before the whole house is a series of paths around the piles.
Like the rodents nesting in the junk, a lonely old man feels vulnerable and wants the high walls around him, wants the tactile sense activated so he hugs the edges, avoids open spaces.
Hanging clothes on doors and light fixtures because closets can’t open anymore, pissing in empty bottles because the bathroom is filled with boxes, things slowly become normal because drinking is important and there’s no energy on a sober day to even begin the process of cleaning house.
This guy got sober and is throwing it all out.

Takes a long time to finish something no one’s paying you to do.

For the 3rd year straight I was an hour late for the raft race between two of San Francisco’s finest boat clubs: Bayview and Mariposa.

The rules are simple… take a shot at the Bayview bar, run out to the dock and paddle yourself to the Mariposa. Take a shot there, run back to your raft and paddle to the Bayview. Run up to the bar and be the first person to slam down your empty glass. Winner.

Mariposa took first place this year with a raft made of capped PVC pipes duct taped together.

This is amazing. From the shout to Jews and Christians to the notion anything you give is deserved.

At giants stadium with a free pass thanks to the girlfriends drug company. They’re developing a cure for congenital warts or something.

Been hanging out with the educated carpenter lately. Here’s a few thoughts I heard as we poured cement into a rubble filled hole that recently had been a hot tub.

“I assumed I’d been 86ed from the bar, because why else would I wake up in the bushes of Delores Park?”

“Blonde hair, big tits, long legs – she looked like loud sex.”

“They legalized medical marijuana, I’m waiting for medical prostitution to come around.”

“TMZ is all about people who spend their days drunk and on drugs doing CRAAZZY shit. Just like me. It’s all the news I need. It’s like a how-to for me.”

Put this down on my kitchen floor. It looks great but doesn’t match the tile on the walls. Took 4 years to get it done, so in 4 years I might get around to changing it.