My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

photo posted from my iPhone

The starter’s going. It makes that awful metal grinding noise three or four times before it finally catches right and turns over. That’s embarrassing. We cleaned the graffiti off the sides for the most part. It’s kinda lookin’ like smeared barf on your door though. Just paint. It smells farty in the cab, where you’ll be riding on top of old coffee stains and crumbs from almond rings. The floor is layered with straps and rope and part of an old well pump I’ve been meaning to get back to Lucas and there’s some old Thrasher magazines I took from the dump. There’s plenty of room it’s just uncomfortable. You’ll have to hold some of your stuff in your lap so we can make it all fit.

Looks like I’ll have to strap my dolly to the roof, and the cart too. So you get in and I’ll hook onto the door handles. Then I’ll climb in my window. The chair can hang off the side on the freeway, just let me know if I’m getting close to parked cars in town. The couch can hang up to six feet off the back as long as I flag it. Do you have a red shirt in one of these bags? I’m too cheap to get new shocks so she kicks like a mule on the ride over while it’s empty, but I like having all this weight in there. Smooths the ride. Only your speaker works so I play the radio pretty loud for me to hear it over the diesel engine.

I’m happy to help, just can’t say exactly when I’ll be over. I gotta get this piano out of here first. Let’s not try an’ pin down an exact time. I’ll give a call when I’m headin’ over.

That old license plate frame does say “I’d rather be driving drunk”. I did that so the police will assume I’m not. I bought four new used tires from the Turk down on 3rd, so as long as these brakes stay working, I don’t see how anything could be safer. I just ask you not to make a Beverly Hillbilly or Sanford and Son allusion. This ain’t a tv show. It’s a blog.