My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

Haven’t been blogging because my eyes hurt now when I use this little phone. Another sign of age. “you’re old enough to change your own diaper now,” my girlfriend told me.
I had her look at my ass, it felt like a lot of hot sauce got spilled in the crack.
“Diaper rash,” she said. There is something awesome about making your girlfriend look at your ass.
But that’s another story. The point of this is, as a truck driver, I’m prone to diaper rash. I work a bunch, sweat either drips down my back, the spinal column channeling it into my piggy bank, or else the cheeks themselves are creating a damp micro climate conducive to a crazy itch.
After my underoos are good and moist, I sit down in the truck and drive around for 40 minutes and it’s like a stew down there, like a crock pot or something. The butt sweat sits there and every corner my hips sway, every stoplight as I step on the brake, the damp gets rubbed around.