Got to build a fence for a guy, and those kids at home depot aren’t any help. I called an old guy from back east…
Kenny: Yessuh?
Me: Kenny! It’s Jon out in SF! What’s up?
Kenny: I prefer Ken.
Me: Hey, I’m building a fence. This guy’s getting a dog for his daughter and I wonder if you have any tips.
Kenny: Depends on the pedigree. Say he gets a big dog, you can space the boards farther apart. Cuss a big dog’s gonna jump higher than your toy dogs might do, so the lumber you save on the run gets spent on the rise. You followin’ me Deerskin? What kinda dog? Makes all the difference.
Me: Good point. Problem is, I don’t know what breed…
Kenny: Here’s what my stepmother always said – “smarten up”.
So I’d say sorry.
“Don’t be smart” she’d tell me. You figure it out, Deerskin.
Me: Smarten up?
Kenny: Don’t be smart.