My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

How about writing a crime novel? Wouldn’t that be a slap in the face to a poetry degree…
The hero looks like a junkie, skinny white guy with red skin, must be an alcohol rash, and not enough meat on him to make a sandwich. Haunted. The cheek bones protruding so close to death. But he’s a local. Everyone knows him.

He’s always in the Hockey Haven, a crummy bar out by the ocean. We’re talking Ocean Beach. This is San Francisco, the beach is the least interesting thing in The City. Guidebooks don’t mention it. Just a fog covered stretch of dirty sand abutting a grocery store parking lot. Surfers park and suit up for the near frigid water. Gay’s tryst in the bushes where the overgrown desolate end of the Golden Gate Park runs to the sea.

You shouldn’t take travel advice from a crime novel, but don’t bring shorts when you visit us. It’s never warm and the water will kill you.

Our hero, Mr Louden, holding court at the far end of the bar. Down there you can always look up and see what’s new in town.
“PG&E had a gas line burst and the apartment building was showered in the decimated vent line’s asbestos covering.”

Mr Louden worked for The City in the District Attorney’s office for a few years before the evidence of his crack habit become unconcealable and the liability of a city investigator wired on heavy schedule 3 outweighed his eagerness to do the dirty work they needed done.

Things like stealing garbage. That was Mr. Louden’s forte. Hanging around in Dumpsters, cutting open bags of trash, looking for a paper trail.

“Congealed mother’s milk in the breast pump bags, I wretch on site. A colostomy bag, maggoty meat, yes, that’s gross – maybe a slight (he makes a gagging motion) contraction, but no, rancid mother’s milk. That was the worst.”

But he digresses. It’s the clean up crew in the quarantined apartment building. 12 units. Subcontracted labor and these guys are looting the place. Watches, jewelry, you name it. You had cash laying around? Prove it.
The city had it blocked off, the maintenance guy was incinerated in the basement. They found some teeth. Jammed into a load bearing beam. That was about it. None of the residents were allowed back in.
Now these guys from Hayward are in these apartments strip searching them, and guess what someone finds?

End part one.
( and we may never get to part two)