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My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

September 12, 2009

side entry

photo posted from my iPhone

Here’s Oggy driving his 1975 Vespa Ciao into his home, which happens to be a 1969 Ford supervan. Tomorrow I believe we get to sit down and have the conversation about where he’s going next and why.
p.s. weird things happening on the blog lately, lots of spam and I was locked out most of the day. If you can’t find your comment, try again, let me know, curse the luck.

September 10, 2009


photo posted from my iPhone

Kitchenette is a newish lunch spot that serves people at the loading dock of a large, two block square former can factory. They have two menu choices. They serve lunch for an hour or so. That’s it. The pork sandwich was $8, and the guy from Mythbusters was there, perhaps to find out if it’s true food tastes better served in industrial settings. All of SF needs to know. But I didn’t want to be, well, a buster, and ask to take his picture so I tried to be stealth and look away from my phone and hope for the best. Ended up with the Birkenstocks above. Then I tried again. Bingo. You can see the wireless mic thing clipped on his belt. That’s him. I swear.

photo posted from my iPhone

September 8, 2009

welcome to s.f.

photo posted from my iPhone

My parents came from New Hampshire to visit me, and they rode Amtrak the whole way for the adventure. It took three days and they’re not sure they’d ever do it again.
I posted the oddly ambiguously sexed childs painting as a sort of “Welcome to San Francisco, Mom and Dad,” type of thing.

September 7, 2009

pinoy style pineapple

How many of you cut your pineapple this way? Most of you probably don’t, and that’s because you aren’t tropical people. New Englanders I knew who encountered this sweet yellow treat usually cut deep into the flesh to remove the tough “eyes” on the surface. Tropical people peel as little of the skin off as possible, and then tunnel out in this spiral pattern that removes them quickly and leaves lots of good sweet flesh behind. Thank you Philippines.

I got Oggy sleeping on the couch right now, my girls in my bed, I’m up trying to type something of interest. I just need to get Oggy to wake up and explain to me again what he was doing in Mexico, and how he’s gonna get to Newfoundland Canada in the old van he’s driving. Let’s do that tomorrow. I should go to bed too.

September 6, 2009

extreme buddhism

photo posted from my iPhone

September 5, 2009

2 live crew

Stopped at a yard sale in front of the Buddhist place, they have them every once in a while. I found this gem in a pile of records but was a little embarrassed to ask the middle aged Japanese woman how much it was, and what exactly is going on. Anyone out there know what it says? Is this music? Or a speech on the merits of euthanasia?

September 4, 2009

believer’s only

How many tough guys deny themselves the pleasure of fruit because it’s too fruity?

Remember tough guys used to say, “if you can’t work on your car you shouldn’t be allowed to own one,” as they held the filter of their Camel pinched between grease dunked fingers? Well, maybe that’s why these old tough guys say today, “I’m not a computer person,” as they adjust their nicotine patch closer to their heart.

With that statement they admit times have passed them by. They are left changing oil on a car so wired to silicon microchips they can’t change the octane rating of their fuel purchase without screwing up a sensor.

Now consider the plight of RK, a high school chum who was smart and artistic. Not one bit of tough guy in him. These changing times have made him most capable of fixing his own car. He’s an IT guy. He makes things work, he jiggles wires and troubleshoots systems and understands the flow of the whole schematic.

The people who sit at their keyboards crippled by the failure of continuous jabs at Control Alt Delete cry out for RK to save them. Like a grime fingered guy pulling off the road to help a disabled vehicle twenty years ago, he’s a hero, he knows how things work, but for some reason the tough guy glory doesn’t translate to IT.

Perhaps he could start smoking at work, laying a six pack on the Boss’s printer as he pulls up his pants and crawls under the desk to check the cable’s are connected. Amazing how many people call him before doing that much themselves.

Perhaps if he called the peripherals a cunt as he shook them when they didn’t work, he would begin to feel that blunted frustration of a tough guy. Would the swagger that comes from punching stubborn equipment make him love his job? It is doubtful. For some reason RK is tired of his job and unrewarded by it’s processes. Becoming a tough guy is no cure. But stepping out of the corporate structure may work.

The mattress store is empty and For Lease is written in large red letters in the window. The economy knocked the shit out of a lot of us, but the mattress discounter is not going to die because he lost his job. Why would RK die if he quit his?

I don’t know the full story of the mans life, his pressures, but I saw the dead batteries in his eyes. I ask everyone who really feels drained, is your job killing your spirit? Then Control Alt Delete. Force Quit. 90 percent of the world is poorer than you and smiling more. I want a faith statement from at least three people by five o’clock today that they’ve taken their job and shoved it. I’ll send each of you a My Robot Is Pregnant bumper sticker. Good luck.

September 3, 2009

demented cement

photo posted from my iPhone
The City of SF baby, is going around The Mission (at least) and marking the sidewalk with a series of color-coded dots that indicate who is liable for the immediate repair of cracked sidewalk squares.

The yellow dots indicate the city will repair a junction box that is a tripping hazard or otherwise damaged, the gray dots show where the property owner is liable. I went out this morning to bid a job for a homeowner and the Comcast cable guy was there.

“We’re getting a lot of fines lately for that kind of stuff, the City is broke and they’re just looking for money,” he said. The City gives the homeowner a bid to do the work, so they are “creating work” in the most direct sense. They also charge , I’m told, $1600 for a permit to divert foot traffic around a torn up sidewalk in such a way that it is wheelchair compliant, while the work is done.

Once in a while, it is a pleasure to be a renter.

September 2, 2009

have i told you lately bearded lady, i love you?

photo posted from my iPhone
Look how happy the little truck is!

September 1, 2009

life preserved


Allen, you told me not to wear the life vest, but I couldn’t resist. Alina and I even wore them in the truck on the way to the bay.

drain plug

photo posted from my iPhone
put the boat in the water after we jammed an old cork in the drain and duck taped it. it worked fine.

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