i might as well beat up a high school kid, that’s how smart i am
I’m 35. I need help. Do you know some one who teaches? Cuz I can’t remember math. I want every math teacher in our country to send out this word problem to the students for me, so the dumb kids know why they should pay attention. I mean really. Don’t be stupid.
I own my own business. I do the dumbest work I’ve ever done. EVAR DONE!! I throw out people’s garbage for them. I can’t figure this problem out. I don’t know if I’m making money or losing money. A simple concept…
Let me set it up.
There’s a hippy. He lives in the neighborhood. Nice guy. Wants to know if I’ll take about 400 pounds of “bad weed” to the dump. Let’s call it garbage. I need to take 400 pounds of garbage to the dump. No sweat.
“Give me twenty bucks,” I say. I figure, it costs $120 bucks for a ton, and a ton is 2000 pounds. If I’m lucky with my guess, It will cost ten bucks to dump and I’ll make ten bucks profit. But how the Christ am I supposed to figure out how much it’ll cost me at the dump?
I started dividing 120 by 2000, or 2000 divided by 120, and it was this 16 point whatever whatever, they don’t make U.S. money like that, so what the fuck?
If it weighs 400 pounds, how much dough does the hippy owe me? Can any one help me?
p.s.
I called my girl. She told me this, in an email.
$120/2000 lbs = ?/400 lbs
also, 120/2000 = ?/400
so, (120/2000)*400 = (?/400)*400 to get ? by itself and get 400 on the other side
so, (120/2000)*400 = ?
so, 24 = ?
$24 per 400 lbs!
I was like WTF? whattheFUCK? I lost $4? I’ll pay you twenty bucks to explain why! @%$*@#…….%*#$@&&$………*$%#@!&^*%…@.
Plus gas for your truck, plus your time. Plus Excedrin.
Comment by Kitt — August 6, 2008 @ 9:50 pm
Just a heads up for ya – the dump here in the city charges a minimum of $21.00 for a load. If your load is 200 pounds or 400 pounds, it makes no difference.
Like Kitt says above you gotta figure in gas, wear an’ tear on the truck, your time and any other BS involved.
If this is a line of enterprise you intend to persue, you might want to figure out a minimum charge. Given long enough you’ll no doubt figure it out, hopefully you won’t starve before then.
I’ll buy you a doughnut, to keep ya going.
Comment by Poll — August 6, 2008 @ 10:22 pm
This is why you americans should use the metric system…
Comment by Nick Drewe — August 6, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
You’re getting too precise. No need for a calculator if you know the price per ton.
$120 per 2000 pounds.
divide both by half.
$60 per 1000 pounds.
not it? divide both by half again
$30 per 500 pounds.
that’s close enough for a hippie, especially since how the hell does he know he has exactly 400 pounds? He’s got an industrial scale in his garage? $30 minimum FOR THE FUCKING HIPPIE to make that trip IN HIS OWN TRUCK.
Double it for YOUR effort. $60. That’s if you want to starve slowly. Triple it and you might actually survive.
Anyone else, including Rusty Sunshine, would charge $150 non-negotiable with half up front. HE would pay you $50 to use his truck and do the grunt work while he would supervise and collect $100. That is America.
Comment by oggy — August 6, 2008 @ 10:43 pm
The other option is this:
$120 $X
— = —
2000lb 400lb
2000X = 120(400) or 48000
4800/2000 = $24
But again, you should estimate the cost to your advantage. It’s not like you’re keeping records. Round up! You can’t do favors with a three ton box truck. Rusty used to tell me, “Jon, a truck like this has to make money every day to pay for itself. Now get out there and shovel that shit!”
Comment by oggy — August 6, 2008 @ 11:04 pm
Oggy is on the right track. A hippie who’s tossing out 400lbs of bad week has money to burn. Do like the dump and charge a minimum amount. Your truck holds 3 ton? Charge this hippie $500 to move up to 3 tons of stuff. After that it’s $200 an additional ton. If he doesn’t like that bargain, kick his ass, take all his money and leave him at the dump with the bad weed.
Comment by Lyle_s — August 7, 2008 @ 8:58 am
I’m glad not everyone had such a bad time with math. I can get into it when it takes on this philosophical edge.
to clear up one point, the dump as of a month ago charges 23 dollars minimum, for up to three hundred pounds, anything over that it becomes a fraction of a ton at 123 dollars and some cents. I rounded off thinking it would help me but it didn’t.
Now, how do I address the anger with hippies?
Comment by Rolston — August 7, 2008 @ 10:18 am
burn em
Comment by mr, pooperlooper — August 7, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
tell him you want some of the good weed or the gig is up…………
Comment by al — August 7, 2008 @ 1:56 pm
dude….”cross multiply and divide”. this is dogma of basic math. why is everyone complicating it? did they not teach you this simple phrase in NH?
Comment by cora — August 7, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
Don’t know nuthin about no mathamatix, but I think the hippy should be burned.
Comment by Poll — August 7, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
my dear aunt sally. Multiply, divide, add, subtract. The order of operations. It didnt help here.
Comment by Rolston — August 7, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
I’m with AL. get the good weed!
Comment by molly — August 7, 2008 @ 9:37 pm
orca i guess things aren’t so simple here in NH
Comment by mr, pooperlooper — August 8, 2008 @ 7:04 am
400 lbs. of bad weed’s got to have about the same street value as 100 lbs. of good weed. tell the fucker you’ll give ‘em a break and do it for $20 then drive right past the dump and turn that “bad” stuff around at the high school across the street. there’s your profit, thank you.
Comment by donny laundry — August 10, 2008 @ 11:50 am
you’re welcome!
Comment by Rolston — August 10, 2008 @ 11:42 pm
I got here a little late, but $120/2000 pounds = 6 cents/lb.
So, 100 lbs would cost $6.
400 lbs = $24.
Comment by Dr. Pepsi — August 14, 2008 @ 10:55 am
Better late with sound math than on time and your head up your ass.
Comment by Rolston — August 19, 2008 @ 9:30 am