remember when America was number one?
Judging by our toilet paper we are number two.
July 10, 2008
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your poor ass. do you steal your t.p. from bars? We just picked up a 16 pack of Charmin Ultra Strong with the ©DiamondWeave quilting made in the USA under one or more US Patents. This stuff makes that Croatian feather quilt look like newsprint. You need to start looking at the top shelves in the paper aisle, Bud. Be good to your ass.
Comment by donny laundry — July 10, 2008 @ 8:56 am
Croatian toilet paper is thick and flowered because the Croatian women use it in place of undergarments.
USA! USA! USA!
Comment by Lyle_s — July 10, 2008 @ 5:39 pm
I am with donny, wipe with the good stuff, otherwise you are doubling or tripling up to make it worthwhile.
If you don’t then you just end up with shit on your hand.
Comment by Al — July 10, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
Actually I have to correct a common misconception here. That isn’t actually Croatian toilet paper, or at least not what we in the modern world think of as “toilet paper” because there’s no such thing. This is actually what they use to wipe the shit off their hands after they use their hands to, well, wipe. As you can see from the images embossed on the paper, it’s sort of a primitive instruction manual. There’s piles of shit, and feathers. The shit is obviously there to remind the user what they’re supposed to wipe off their hands. The feathers are a little trickier, but it’s basically a public service mandated by the Croatian government (such as it is) and is intended to remind the user that, in the event no “toilet paper” is at hand, one is to use a chicken, and chickens are readily available in every Croatian household, and their pen is usually (if not always) located in the tub.
Hopefully I’ve dispelled a myth here, and the world will now understand the Croatian people better. They have their ways, and we have ours. Don’t judge.
Also, I agree with the above – don’t scrimp on the shit paper. It’s the only thing that keeps us from becoming Croatian.
Comment by Mitch — July 11, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
Now I’m not being anti American or any such nonsense, (unlike you guys I actually live here by choice, not just because I happened to be born here). However the standard of ass wipe in this great nation is fucking deplorable.
In any European country, top quality toilet tissue is readily available to one and all, even the Turks now have high grade poo poo paper. And let’s not forget the Japanese, world leaders in toilet hygene (the fuckers are obsessed with it).
You gotta face it, yer Charmin just don’t make the grade – you have to use a four sheet fold, for feces free fingernails.
Hopefully the new administration will see an end to this lamentable situation and bring the U.S. of A. proudly into the twenty first century as far as shit wipe is concerned.
At least we don’t have it quite as bad as the Indians (no not them, the other ones) who use their bare hand and then hopefully wash it, or the Afghans – who use dirt or sand.
Comment by Poll — July 11, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
this certainly sparked more passionate responses than I could ever have imagined – and i learned a new one: poo poo paper. Again, Mitch really understands these Croats, good thing he was here to explain it all.
Comment by Rolston — July 12, 2008 @ 11:08 pm