My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

June 30, 2010

i’m in business!

These two fellahs gave me the okay to gather junk in the City of San Francisco. I asked when I’d get my metal badge.

“They give you a laminated piece of paper. We don’t have any badges.”

There’s more to tell but my fingers are falling asleep

10 Comments

  1. SEC. 897. – PROVIDING FOR BADGES FOR JUNK GATHERERS.

    Every person required to obtain a permit and license pursuant to Section 895 and 896 of this Article must, at the time the license is issued to him, pay a badge fee to the Tax Collector and receive therefor from the Tax Collector a junk gatherer’s metal badge, having imprinted thereon a number and the year for which same is issued. The design and lettering of said badge shall be determined by the Tax Collector, but such design must be distinctively different for each year.

    (Amended by Ord. 555-81, App. 11/12/81)

    SEC. 898. – JUNK GATHERERS REQUIRED TO WEAR BADGES.

    Every person engaged in business as a junk gatherer either buying, selling or exchanging junk from vehicles or in any other manner upon the streets of the City and County of San Francisco, must wear conspicuously exposed on the outside lapel of his coat the metal badge prescribed in the preceding section.

    (Added by Ord. 1.075, App. 10/11/38)

    Comment by oggy — July 1, 2010 @ 9:21 am

  2. Tell them you don’t want to disobey the law.

    Comment by oggy — July 1, 2010 @ 9:22 am

  3. BADGES!!! We don’t need no stinking badges!!!

    Comment by chrome1 — July 1, 2010 @ 11:26 am

  4. I think the white guy caught me pissing in an alley in the Tenderloin on my 27th birthday. I tried to convince him that everyone pisses in that alley but he wasn’t having any of it. He wrote me a ticket but never showed up fof for court and the charges were dismissed.

    Comment by al — July 1, 2010 @ 9:42 pm

  5. I’m really curious how it’ll turn out. I’m definitely gonna insist I’m owed a badge. The white guy said, “We don’t want people running around with badges.”

    Which is funny, because that’s what the law says. They were nice guys, btw. But if I pay $750 for a permit to gather junk, they should be able to spring for a metal badge.

    Comment by Rolston — July 2, 2010 @ 12:54 am

  6. Thanks for doing the research Oggy. Makes me sound less like a lunatic.

    Comment by Rolston — July 2, 2010 @ 12:55 am

  7. I thought Oggy made those ordinance amendments up! The second one made me suspect.

    Comment by Lyle_s — July 2, 2010 @ 9:44 am

  8. I left this one out….

    SEC. 898.1 – JUNK GATHERERS REQUIRED TO CHANGE UNDERWEAR.

    Every person engaged in business as a junk gatherer either buying, selling or exchanging junk from vehicles or in any other manner upon the streets of the City and County of San Francisco, must change his or her undergarments prior to the commencement of each day’s business. Said undergarments may not be exposed by saggy or ill-worn pantaloons. Undergarments may not have any pictorial representation of boats or cars on them and genitals must be completely covered. Scrotums or labia or pubic hair may not protrude from either side of the undergarment. To wit, proper undergarment usage will be enforced by the Panty Police as described in previous amendments.

    (Added by Ord. 1.075, App. 07/02/10)

    p.s. have no fear, we’ll get you a badge.

    Comment by Oggy — July 2, 2010 @ 11:17 am

  9. I think Oggy should enforce Section 898.1 ;P

    Comment by Belcat — July 5, 2010 @ 10:38 am

  10. FUCK YEAH! you did it! i love the photo of the two of them…

    and, um, yeah, i don’t believe that SEC.898.1 come on, jon, that’s not real…

    Comment by molly — July 5, 2010 @ 1:10 pm

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