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tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

June 12, 2007

How to remove bees from your home

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Rusty gave a call, had some bees settin’ up shop in the wall to the house. Took his hammer drill and punched out some holes in the stucco. The lady bees inside didn’t care for the racket.

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“Looks like you’re leakin’ bees, Rus,” I hollered. He was standing quite a bit back under the trees.

“Hope you zipped up your fly, fellah,” he hollered back.

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Here’s the problem. Someone put a box of Honeycombs in his wall.

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Had to reach up inside there and pull out lots of comb. Glove covered in honey, honey covered in bees.

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Threw the comb in an old joint compound bucket. Swarms go for about a hundred bucks these days, since so many hives are dying off. Long as I got the queen in that mess there I’ll be alright.

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You can see the hole that got punched in the wall, lots of confused lady bees looking for a place to put their nectar. Like to take a moment and draw your attention to the beekeeping gloves Rus rigged up for me. He duct taped some leather-palmed work gloves to the sleeves of my jacket. The bees couldn’t sting through the leather, but you’ll notice the back of my hand isn’t protected with it. They got me quite a few times, and I couldn’t pull the stingers out what with my other hand done up in a similar fashion.

We used some old window screens taped in a cylinder around my head to keep them off my face. Not recommended.

5 Comments

  1. Go Mr. Bees!
    Did someone actually put a box of honeycombs in the wall? Where do you get a box of
    honeycombs and who would do that?
    Are you able to harvest any honey? How does it compare to store-bought?

    Comment by K — June 12, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

  2. Mr. Bees isn’t sure how serious this question is. He will approach it as though there are no stupid questions.

    Those are not Honeycombs brand cereal coming out of the wall. That is comb made by honey bees. (Perhaps that old beekeeper joke went over the head of non-apiarists.)

    Honeycombs is available in most grocery stores, and can often be found in larger gas stations.

    Enough teasing, sorry.

    This was a new hive, probably three months old, so the honey was very fresh and sweet. I only had a little, because I am trying to take these bees and put them in a hive behind my house, one that is man made. A new hive needs a lot of honey to feed the young.

    Bees will build hives in hollow places in nature, like dead trees. They like a small entrance so predators don’t get in. The space between the walls at Rus’s was perfect.

    Honey bees aren’t domesticated, so it’s all wild honey, but store bought honey is often pasteurized, so that kills some taste. Also, the source of flower nectar influences the taste of honey.

    thanks for the questions!

    Comment by Rolston — June 12, 2007 @ 6:50 pm

  3. What do bees taste like?

    Comment by Lyle_s — June 12, 2007 @ 7:47 pm

  4. so…there are stupid questions.

    Actually, I’ve almost eaten them. They get stuck in the honeycomb sometimes when I’m cleaning it up.

    I bet they’d be semi sweet, accept for the stinger. That’s what keeps me from eating them. I don’t want to swallow the poison.

    Comment by Rolston — June 12, 2007 @ 7:54 pm

  5. Can’t you just hold them by the stinger and eat the rest? Or pull the stinger out and throw it in your mouth like a grenade?

    Comment by Lyle_s — June 13, 2007 @ 8:06 pm

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