Just thinking about Mr. Modern, my high school guidance counselor. It was pronounced “moe-dern” and he corrected people many times and never gave up.
He also gave boring advice, like, “you should go to college.”
He should have told me about being a jack man, the guy on a traveling pit crew that oprates the jack so tires can be switched out. Those guys tour the country partying and wearing cool jumpsuits.
Or what about being a mover? Me and some pals did a move the other day. It can be fun. The couple were just married and moving in together. Combining households, which seems old fashioned. Shouldn’t they have been living together for a few years already?
Anyway, Tristan’s working with us and he usually operates a zip line in downtown San Francisco. Why didnt Mr. Modern -that’s moe-dern – explain to me I could lease a parking lot and set up a zip line ride over SF?
Tristan’s not making a lot, but his boss is.
“I look at what homeless people a drinking to find the best value. I’m only one Steel Reserve away from the streets myself.”
He went on to explain when he worked at 6 Flags, he had to take a drug test. The company that processed the drug test also sold a product online that was fake urine that got you through a drug test.
“You need to wear tight underwear and keep the pouch close to your body between your asshole and balls. That way it comes out the right temperature.”
There’s another career no one explored with me. Fake urine!
Well, on Sunday they say the dollar is going to sink. I’ll be at the flea market, hopefully I’ll buy a pistol and some ammo for Monday morning when the world turns upside down.