City gas stations are always on a corner. It’s smart. There’s a sign on the sign post advertising Amp. An energy drink from Mountain Dew.
The Dew is a gateway cola. You drank Moutain Dew as a kid and got all shaky and realized, “I can handle this.” You demanded more from your soda. Sparks offered to put malt liquor in it, but the government had to step in and remind everyone malt liquor isn’t for children.
“Energy drinks make me rapey,” Seth says as we walk past the sign, the black foreboding can and the green bolts of electricity that comprise the font.
“Yeah,” says Jeff. “You drink Mountain Dew and next thing you know you’re skydiving out of an airplane with a snowboard strapped to your feet. Whattaya think is gonna happen if you drink AMP?”
“You’re gonna rape things?” I ask.
“You’re certainly gonna try. Grocery stores. Hot dog buns. Nothings safe.”