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tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

December 11, 2009

a strange case of ownership and trespass.

leafblower

Out there in the burbs a guy starts up the leaf blower at 730 in the morning. Sun’s been up twenty three minutes and the cold start of the single stroke is yodeling up to the sky. The guy in question starts at the top right corner of his rectangular front lawn and starts the air stream billowing golden yellow and burnt orange leaves towards the street. In just a few minutes the tiny starter home lawn is leaf free. Now, engine idling, the man strolls out into the street and starts the round up again, driving the deciduous herd up the street to the neighbors house, where two twin maples with matching leaves stand proudly over the single story homes of the block. The man blasts the swirling mass of leaves from the street up onto the neighbor’s lawn, as though the lost herd were happy to be back under the tree they fell from.

6 Comments

  1. That sounds so petty that he must enjoy telling the anecdote later on. The kind of person who would send food back at a McDonalds. You call that a burger? No. Gimme my dollar back.

    Comment by oggy — December 11, 2009 @ 6:17 pm

  2. Sounds like he needs an anger management course. I wonder if he collects rain and throws it back at god.

    Comment by Rolston — December 12, 2009 @ 2:17 pm

  3. Did you really witness this? This guy would have to be the biggest douche on earth. If this is real you gotta start pushing his buttons until he explodes. Start collecting bags of leaves instead of junk and dump them on his lawn every night.

    Comment by Lyle_S — December 12, 2009 @ 6:49 pm

  4. This is Seano’s story, “out there in the burbs”. He told it to me after I pruned all the branches on a tree that gave him privacy from the madman.

    Comment by Rolston — December 12, 2009 @ 7:21 pm

  5. he’s about 45. he lives with his parents in a cinderblock house that looks like pease afb housing. the lawn is tailored as a putting green. he drives a ’65 nova, pale blue.

    he stands to inherit a small fortune, those parents hit the lottery twice in 2006. it’s an interesting situation. i love hearing him argue with his dad. regulated pressure release. the restraint is palpable.

    Comment by donny l. — December 13, 2009 @ 10:07 am

  6. Sounds like the making for a reality TV show

    Comment by Lyle_S — December 13, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

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