another thing that makes me mad
I ought to talk to my therapist about the phone books that arrived on my steps last week. They are still there, swelling up with the recent rain showers. It is a protest. I refuse to touch them. I get angry every time I see them because the Yellow Pages have insulted me.
Don’t they know I own a computer? Don’t they know I’m part of the digital age and use Google to find phone numbers? It feels like I have been labeled a dunce, like somewhere an enemy is in the bushes laughing at me, me, the guy who still uses the Yellow Pages. Yeah right. Those Yellow Pages, the real Yellow Pages, are gonna sit out there on my stoop until they compost and sprout a cherry tree.
Do like me and learn how to rip phone books in half. It will impress your friends, and you get free magic tricks delivered to your door!
Comment by sam — December 15, 2008 @ 11:30 pm
you should put them in a bucket on your porch and remove the covers. Then they’ll turn into a pulp that you can mash and dry out. Then you can burn it like a log, should burn for like an hour.
Comment by Lyle_s — December 16, 2008 @ 6:49 am
The only good thing to come out of those phone books are the 20% off coupons for Rainbow Grocery.
Comment by Eirikur — December 16, 2008 @ 9:43 am
If a phone book sprouted anything it would be a Starbucks.
Comment by Oggy — December 16, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
I’ll clip that Rainbow coupon and then I’ll pulp it and make a big piece of yellow paper, write to the phone company and tell them not to send me anymore phonebooks. Really. I took a paper making class once.
Comment by Rolston — December 17, 2008 @ 10:06 pm