My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

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serendipitous hypocrite bibliography
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Can I get a “Hell Yeah” from all the Poetry Majors out there? Remember when you used to write non-sensical sentences searching for sound? Only sound, no meaning, yet meaning always snuck in?

Recent penis enlargement spam is at that same awkward stage. I edited the nonsense at the bottom of this ad:

“Friction creates pleasure during love making.
The bigger your dick the more friction the better it feels for yourself and your partner.
Gain length AND thickness with our new enlargement patch.
It takes love making to the next level…”

and came up with that nice little poem. (It helped to put in some line breaks.)

This type of poetry is all the rage over at San Francisco State in the grad program. It is called L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poetry. Officially born in 1971 as a movement, it is still going strong.

The main point of language poetry is to remove the sense of an author. To take out the narritive. The reader is able to invent the story because the words have shades of meaning that are personal yet part of the shared culture. Would you like to write some L=A=N=G=A=U=G=E poetry? Would you like to be a post-modern artist? Here is some spam for you to experiment with:

also mao electorate hester dane entendre courtier equitable inequivalent cataclysmic annulled dovetail byte fungus oh algiers thrice automat protect extraordinary baltimorean album cia bodhisattva miriam see depletion swept lukewarm similitude blowup debrief ambient nilpotent cotangent providential coal vito awry plant auditory imprimatur connector thieves poland scour bankrupt tapeworm american rotund citation loeb whelm chronology albacore zoo soiree physiology acreage cucumber pease , not quintessential troutman albrecht almaden thick roth roadbed afterglow greatcoat succession constipate pinxter delectate invest eva carbine ire healthful guard biharmonic plebeian automobile heusen purslane associate perfusion reciprocal circa defecate interfere midrange hovel it

It came at the bottom of this pitch:

“Don’t be no short dicked man.
Make your member long, thick and strong.
Recent technology has changed the lives of thousands of men.
For less than two hundred dollars it can change yours too.
It doesn’t matter if you are married, single or gay.
Everyone could use a boost in size.”

These spams are perfect poetry primers. There is the non-poetic narritive part we call the pitch. You read it like a story. You half picture someone confiding to you. Someone wants to help you…right? Who is that narrator?

Then comes language poetry. Isn’t it refreshing not to be told something? You aren’t spoken to with language poetry, you are given a ball to bounce. It’s play time. Make believe. No one calls you in to wash your hands and sit down for dinner. Language poetry strives to lose authority.

I don’t write that kind of poetry. I’m mainstream. Me! Why? I want a cult of personality. Who I am is supposed to be integral to what I write. You need to know my story to understand my poetry!

Unfortunately that is passe. There are no more solitary artists in America. Who cares if I’m a brooding poet? How can I brood online, successfully? The software tells me how many people visit everyday, how long they stay, what time they logged on. I’m not a lonely poet.

I’m a caricature, a rambling drunk masturbator waitingto write a great novel that will change the English speaking world. In the meantime, spam in your inbox is getting the job done. Penis enlargement promotions are breaking new ground in literature.

Check this out:

advice given to budding L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=S by poet Bernadette Mayer in her work, “Experiments”:

1. Systematically derange the language, for example, write a work consisting only of prepositional phrases, or, add a gerundive to every line of an already existing piece of prose or poetry, etc.

2. Get a group of words (make a list or select at random); then form these words (only) into a piece of writing – whatever the words allow. Let them demand their own form, and/or: Use certain words in a set way, like, the same word in every line, or in a certain place in every paragraph, etc. Design words.

3. Write what cannot be written, for example, compose an index. (Read an index as a poem).

4. Attempt writing in a state of mind that seems least congenial.

5. Consider word & letter as forms; the concretistic distortion of a text, for example, too many o’s or a multiplicity of thin letters (illftiii, etc.)

6. Attempt to eliminate all connotation from a piece of writing & vice versa.

7. Work your ass off to change the language & don’t ever get famous.

(see the original at: http://www.poetrypreviews.com/poets/language.html)

Spam seems to satisfy almost every command of LANGUAGE poetry!