My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

Now don’t expect my infirm cellmate’s mouth to open and spew forth magical flies that save the day…I’m sure he would’ve if he could – but the effort would probably kill him. His knees looked like two doorknobs were stuck on half way up his legs. His skin was blotchy like a contaminated petri dish…dull with a rubbery yellow sheen.

He was hairless except for his head, but not in a body builder fashion. It was more of a case where the hair just gave up and fell out. His liver was clearly visible from outside of his body. The hepatitis had swelled a bilious protuberance in his side that made him wince with each step he took. His “pirates dream” sunken chest was festooned with the words “Born to Raise Hell” and a big headed cartoon devil wielding a pitchfork.

The rows of desensitizing creams and pads gave the indication that his balloon knot was in the same shape as the rest of him. Bad. His worst symptom, however, was one that no one could see.

to be continued