My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

photo posted from my iPhone

photo posted from my iPhone

photo posted from my iPhone
Waiting in line at the dump. Here’s the hornless beast packing taped together.

photo posted from my iPhone
Got a new phone today. It has a flash camera. This is my bedroom in full flash. For some reason the photos are coming out crooked.

photo posted from my iPhone

This is no flash. Noticing some big problems trying to blog on wordpress with this future phone. I’m typing invisibly.

Drink holders on shopping carts. A nation on the move. A thirsty nation. Perhaps a signal we are losing our coordination as we age? Or is the $4 coffee to dear to spill? There is a reason the expense was taken.

Still waiting for someone to invent binocular windows. So I can lay in bed and focus in on the ships passing under the Golden Gate Bridge with a remote control that brings the monkey fist the Chinese deckhand tied on the long voyage across into enough detail I can count the bends.

China Shipping Lines was under way just before ten o’clock this morning. The fog was 100 feet above the water, the heights of the bridge obscured. The two red footings of the bridge looked like they were hemmed by a gray skirt. Containers stacked how high I couldn’t see. I needed that binocular glass. Came under the bridge without escort, no tug, probably an old friend of the Port of Oakland.

Should we worry about the Midwest? Are they lonely in the middle? A river is wide if you’ve never seen an ocean, so they’re probably fine. Good flat earth where the buffalo once roamed. What do they listen to for Rock ‘n Roll? Do they know what we look like out here?

Are we too noisy for them? Shouting over them from coast to coast? A wide middle child too polite to mention it.

Then Jeff comes out of the bathroom and says, “My underwear was on backwards. How many days has it been like that I wonder…” and he wandered off to buy a Gatorade. We were moving office chairs for a company. Downtown. Sun shining, women walking by nearly too expensive to look at.

Jeff comes back, says “They don’t sell Gatorade in this neighborhood. Only Vitamin Water. $2.50 a bottle.”

“Gatorade is for a lower class than these people,” I tell him.

“But I’m hungover as shit. It works.”

“You need to make more money.”

“I know. I gotta stop hanging around with you and Doug. Go to these bars around here, meet some pretty women. Find out how to get rich.”

“What about your children’s book? I thought that was gonna get you rich.”

“Chompy the talking hamburger that thinks whistling is sad? How do I make a book out of that? Can’t we go direct to a feature film?”

We had the whole of the truck loaded up with office chairs now. They all have similar wheels bases, like an octopus on roller skates. Jeff pulled the rolling door down and the clink of the hook locking was sweet music.

So it’s not a badge. “Where’s the badge?” I ask the woman at the counter.

“We haven’t had anyone in here for this in a long time. You’re the only one in the whole city with this permit. We had some but when we moved we put them in storage. I guess we’ll have to order up some more.”

Well, that’s interesting.

These are the stipulations, just so you know Oggy was mostly telling the truth.

Esben, the great Dane, says Americans spend a lot of time sitting in their cars. Not while driving. While parked. After he said that I realized I like sitting in my car. I get lunch to go and sit in my car to eat it. I listen to the radio. New cars have a feature where you turn the car off but the radio stays on until you open the door. Clearly designed for a population that likes to hang out in the car after driving.

photo posted from my iPhone
First thing I did for my birthday was go to a yard sale at Mickey’s.

photo posted from my iPhone
The second thing I did for my birthday was go to the flea market. Someone call the patent office and tell them there’s a dispute.

photo posted from my iPhone
The last thing I did for my birthday was inhale marijuana vapor from a long bag.

photo posted from my iPhone

photo posted from my iPhone

a garage sale item you never see: tissue dispenser in the form of a parachuting man. It’s stuff like this that makes Saturdays so awesome.

photo posted from my iPhone

Chiraag and Rajeev are the two Indian dudes I know. And they know each other. Through the brown channel I guess. We all met up to taste test Chai, and talk about making a Chai cart to push around town and make some dough.

Anyone interested in coming over Wednesday and helping us turn this old Troy-Built into a hot Indian tea wagon?