My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

Appears to be you can buy donuts with food stamps. Of course when Walgreens is the closest thing your neighborhood has to a grocery store there’s not a lot you can do.

Tax time’s coming up and it’s no Turbo Tax EZ form for a junk man. Try on a schedule C, Schedule SE and Form 4562 – Depreciation and Amortization. Did Sanford and Son have to go through all these hoops?

When you hit the IRS website to download these forms, look for this one: Application for Reward for Original Information. It appears to be the form a whistleblower fills out when he or she collects from the IRS for turning in a tax cheat. How many of these canaries forget to include their IRS kickback on their income? There are no readily available figures online, but surely it’s happened at least once.

Went to a drag show last night. That’s me and another guy in the photo. Hard to see because everything’s blurry, but I’m not the one with big boobs.

I didn’t remember 1979 being that good of a year, but who could argue with this calendar?

photo posted from my iPhone

Mcdonald’s selling burritos to Chinese people

Soviet flights to communist health care. Yes, he really wants this.

Driving home in an epic wind storm I see the old yellow paper I love so much tumbling down the sidewalk form an overstuffed recycling bin on the curb. I pull over and look in. A jackpot. Denken mail order catolgues from 1967, 1972, gun catalogues, old magazines about sportfishing from the 1950′s, and lots of ephemera. Like this piece I’ve never seen before: the luggage tag from a Soviet flight.
I was only a quarter deep into the garbage can, taking my time, when a motorcycle cop pulled up, nearly falling off his bike.
“That isn’t your’s is it?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then get out of there,” he said.
Kicked out of a garbage can. Luckily I learned a long time ago, as soon as you get something you like, put it in the truck, then come back. So I drove off with some good stuff. Remember that. You never know when they’re gonna shoe you off. Hide it away.

Sandwich is king. For us. Where does that put the hamburger in this comestable kingdom? For the hamburger is the only sandwich that sounds weird if you add sandwich after it. Tuna sandwich, cheesesteak sandwich, BLT sandwich, all fine. Hamburger sandwich? What are you, fresh from Pakistan with that ESL sandwich? Come on.
It leads me to believe the hamburger is the rogue sandwich. A fallen angel. Outside the boundaries of the sandwich kingdom.