This is a World War Two Japanese warship that the power of love has converted to a pure cane sugar cotton candy machine. Perhaps off-shore of your home town it is busy chugging out a cloud of sweets. Check the sky. Don’t give up hope. If you don’t see pink and yellow puffs, this decommissioned warship has not forgotten you. You are the next stop.
May 18, 2009
May 16, 2009
sushi boat all gone
We ate at a sushi boat. You know? A big circle bar with sushi plates on boats chained together? They make an endless circle and you take the plate you want. The color or design on the plate is the price you pay at the end. Sure, you could put all the plates in your pocket and walk out without paying anything, but that’s not the spirit.
“Where’s the master boat that pulls all the others?” I asked at the end of the night. All the sushi was gone and they wanted to go home.
“It’s just the current in the water,” the waitress told us.
“Oh. I wanted to talk to the master boat about trucking in some shrimp for him.”
She didn’t get it. I fucked up that Zen moment.
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May 14, 2009
megahero
I guess the neighbor’s house is still there but I can’t see it.
San Francisco – The fog that comes in the evening is so thick with humidity a darkened house across the street is hidden in gray vapor.
You can’t see for shit when it gets like this. Hate to drive an electric car, people don’t know you’re coming.
Last Sunday was a great day. The sun came out and we got together and had a yard sale and all kinds of people came along. No one asked why the kid had on a Superman costume. More than one guy came through pushing the little ice cream cooler on wheels. I stopped the first guy and bought a rice pudding flavored popsicle. He told me how to say ice cream in Spanish. Now I’ve forgotten. The word, however, continues to exist.
Tupperware sold a set of popsicle forms. Juice or Kool Aid got poured in mold, the mold was set in a tray, and a sword like handle was set into the liquid. Once it was frozen the mold peeled off and you could hold the handle and eat frozen Tang, Pepsi, milk, or whatever. Plastic was good back then.
On hot summer days my family walked down the hill to the bay when I was young. The bay had tides like the ocean, but the high and low was an hour different than the Atlantic. My uncle just wrote to tell me it is mating season for horseshoe crabs this time of year. The males are smaller than the females. They’re something easily caught but never taken home for a pet.
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May 13, 2009
a broken heart lasts longer
So this is the worst depression since the Thirties? Idiots buying houses with money they didn’t have lose them? Auto makers using the same basic engine design from the Great Depression can’t compete? Banks giving money to people to buy houses they can’t afford need government bailouts?
And now the worst is over? Sophia just got another biotech job and a raise. Not bad for a two month “lay-cation”. Stocks are up. I’m cutting down trees and hauling garbage for people. Cigarettes are seven bucks a pack. People still smoke. Things aren’t bad.
I was hoping for a melt down so we could start fresh. Looks like it was just a few bad months where the fully leveraged got fucked and guys like me who recycle aluminum just had to drink at home instead of the bar. Yeah I was pissed when someone stole my scrap steel hid behind the holly bush, but if that’s what this Depression drove men to, big deal.
May 12, 2009
freeloader
I’m turning you on to poopies. Check this link.
Now I can go to bed without having to think about anything.
May 11, 2009
May 9, 2009
the winner is
I got the twin of my old box truck.
The fleet. Don’t know why my camera made the door look warped.
I can’t wait to go to bed! I should be under the covers right now. I’m gonna buy a truck tomorrow! It has shiny chrome hubcaps and a cassette deck. It’s a 1998 Chevy 3500 with a twelve foot box on the back.
I also got a new computer, but can’t get the keyboard to type words. That’s a problem. But who has time to work on that stuff when the weather is so nice? And plus I should be in bed. Tomorrow’s a big day. I drive across the Bay Bridge and head north for forty minutes because my new truck is sleeping in a garage there. I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl? Sometimes I forget what I am and so I check my undies. What do I check on a truck? I think they don’t have a sex. But you can tell after awhile if it’s a he or she.
So I’m going to bed now. I’m tired. Tired of being a boy.
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May 7, 2009
You gotta dance with the devil if you’re gonna preach a good word. Don’t matter if scientists can make you forget your sins in a more thorough manner than a bottle of Jimmy Beam. Times are changin’ and we need a sinner to set us straight. What we need is someone out front who knows what the dangers are. Everything’s new. They put a dead woman’s face on a living woman who had hers shot off. When Jesus left so did that kind of miracle. So many days have passed since his walking on water but they’re out there kite surfing now. We make our own miracles. A little boy down in Alabama sewed goat feet on his grandfather’s diabetes stumped ankles and now Grandpa is climbing hills and making his own cheese from his teats. Did you hear me when I said we’re making our miracles? Yes we are friend. You and me.
May 5, 2009
May 4, 2009
you have prison mail
Old high school friend Sean Ahern is apparently trying to contact me through email from prison. I received an email from the Federal Bureau of Prisons asking if I consented to receiving correspondence from him, and agree to its being monitored. I said yes. Let’s see what happens…
Here is more info about the program, according to the link.
What is TRULINCS?
The Trust Fund Limited Inmate Computer System (TRULINCS) is a new program currently being deployed by the Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) to provide inmates with some limited computer access, to include the capability to send and receive electronic messages without having access to the Internet. This program is designed in part to assist in the inmate’s eventual release to the community. Electronic messaging has now become a standard form of communication within most American homes and businesses, and it can now be used to help inmates stay connected to their families. Strengthening or re-establishing family ties helps inmates improve the likelihood of a successful re-entry into the community, thus reducing the potential for recidivism.
Do inmates have access to the Internet?
No Internet access is provided.
Who funds TRULINCS?
No taxpayer dollars are used for this service. Funding is provided entirely by the Inmate Trust Fund, which is maintained by profits from inmate purchases of commissary products, telephone services, and the fees inmates pay for using TRULINCS.
Do all BOP facilities have access to TRULINCS?
No, but the list of facilities where it is available is growing, and TRULINCS is expected to be in all BOP facilities by June 2011. Ask your inmate contact about it!
May 3, 2009
how to spot a white trash bbq
Notice the ten speed, an obvious clue someone who lost their license for drunk driving showed up and got too drunk to ride his bicycle home. He slept in the woodshed. The neighbors called the police after a few bricks of Black Cat firecrackers were thrown wholesale into the fire burning in the grill. SFFD showed up quickly and put an end to the need for wood splitting competitions. My neighbors won’t look me in the eye today.
A keg of Miller high life, aka hi-li. Or, The Life. It is the life. Burnt hot dogs tucked among the high weeds. Nothing like a short notice house party. Maybe I’ll have one next year too.
