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tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

January 29, 2008

Antiques Sideshow


apparently not worth shit

George, who refuses to use her real name because of the disgusting nature of my website, lived a dream of mine a few years ago when she brought an item to Antiques Roadshow when they came to San Francisco. let’s learn together about her experience.

mrip: so how did you get onto Antiques Roadshow?

george: they pulled my name from a bunch of people who sent in a postcard. it was five years ago.

mrip: what made you want to go on it?

george: i love antiques. i was quite obsessed with the show. people didn’t understand my obsession. except for Rachel that’s why i took her.

mrip: were you obsessed with antiques or the personalities on the show?

george: ahhh…i like the stories.

mrip: where was it held?

george: the Moscone Center, the convention center across from the Metreon downtown.

mrip: what time did you get there?

george: god, i don’t remember. right after lunch maybe. you get in this line to get to the next line to get to the next line. there was a lot of people there, we got herded.

mrip: what did you see people holding?

george: what they were hoping was a ticket to early retirement. a lot of big furniture actually, vases, that stuff.

mrip: and what did you bring?

george: i brought this shot glass with a mini dumbbell fused to the bottom of it. its supposed to be the exercise of the drinking class.

mrip: what did you think it was worth?

george: i was hoping hundreds of thousands. i also brought this decorative plate that i got from a Chicago thrift store a long time ago when i was still in high school. this creepy older couple followed me around hoping I’d put it down, they followed me around but not too discreetly. i heard one say “keep an eye on her”, so i thought it was worth something.

mrip: was it?

george: “I don’t know, ten dollars. Next.” they made me feel as though I insulted them.

mrip: what was the crowd like?

george: i’d say we were some of the youngest.

mrip: were people trying buy things from each other?

george: that wasn’t allowed.

mrip: did you recognize the person who evaluated your item?

george: it was an elderly gentleman who didn’t have the patience and didn’t want to be in the middle of all that.

mrip: did it change your opinion of the show?

george: no i still love it.

mrip: having watched the show what made you think the barbell shot glass would be worth something?

george: put a picture up there and people will understand. plus I was 21 or 22. a 21 year old will understand.

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