My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

January 15, 2008

i was selling binoculars at a nascar event…

Jhase continues his stories about the great state of Neveda…

“I worked for this camera store for like five years, and I quit – two years after I quit they asked me to go to Nevada to sell binoculars at a sporting event – it was a Nascar race. We show up three days early – we were representing Nikon and they wanted to be on top of it and sell the most binoculars. There’s no one there but event staff and they were making fun of us standing around with no one there but we cleared forty/ fifty grand during the race…selling binoculars.

Customers didn’t want to use them just for the race – everyone wanted to know if they could spot bucks with them too..I don’t really like killing animals, but every pair I’d say, “Yeah they’re great for hunting.”

The stand was in the middle of a giant parking lot, 15 feet by 15 feet, a vinyl canopy in the middle of a sea of lifted brand new F 350s and motorhomes. I didn’t see one import car the whole time.

It was a crowd of harley t shirts and fanny packs – male fake leather fanny packs with skoal tobacco and binoculars I sold them. We had a “spot the worst tattoo possible” game to keep us going..

Nascar is 150 degree heat, flap jack breasted biker girls with tribal arm bands…I spotted at least 30 around-the-belly-button sun tattoos. So many mullets I can’t even bring it up…

There was a kettle corn and bratwurst booth right by us. Every night we’d see how many vodka tonics we could put down…

We were more than a quarter mile away from the actual race way, and it was pretty loud, I wanted to go in but I had to sell binoculars to people. Once in a while you’d get a really rich redneck with snakeskin boots, turquoise inlays on them bragging about the size of his motorhome and he’d drop 1500 bucks on binoculars. We started saying howdy to everyone just to fit in. Right on the middle of the toe, on the toe, it had a turquoise diamond with sterling silver around it.

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