My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

Sean Ahern’s continuing prison saga:

One report documented the strange case involving a Physicians Assistant who walked around the prison in hospital scrubs, including the mask and booties. He would walk through the greasy chow hall in his aseptic gear, sterile mask hanging from his neck as if he’d just scrubbed up for a double bypass. This on it’s face was strange, but the rabbit hole got a lot deeper. This aide in the germ-free garments had a surreptitious secret lurking in his past – he had been arrested for impersonating a medical doctor.

According to reports he had gone to certain homes where it is suspected he knew males between the ages of fourteen and seventeen years of age resided. Upon arrival he would introduce himself as a physician and obliquely mention the names of the young man’s parents. Upon gaining entry to the residence he would further deceive the teens by administering a cursory “physical examination” in which he would fondle the young men’s testicles and then insert his finger in their rectum. He was only discovered when an alert sixteen year old boy noticed he was not wearing a glove during the rectal exam and called the police. A struggle ensued and the police arrived shortly after. The case was still pending in court.

Another report detailed the doings of a nurse who was charged with prostitution. The narrative of a confidential informant recounted his visits to the nurse where she would manually stimulate or perform oral sex upon the inmate according to a pay scale.

According to the snitch the rate was one hundred dollars for “hand release” and three hundred for oral copulation. The informant detailed that other carnal acts were available, but were out of his price range. Payments were made when an inmate would call a benefactor from the phone in the nurses office so a wire transfer could be set up. A sting operation was rolled out.

The confidential informant was wired and the phones were monitored. As he had in the past the informant arrives at the nurses office complaining of “groin pains”. Once inside he called for a wire transfer of three hundred dollars. The FBI monitored the transaction, but the money was sent to an account with a fictitious name.

The informant began acting strangely and according to him the nurse became suspicious and abruptly stopped performing fellatio and ordered the informant to remove his shirt. When he refused the nurse opened the office door and ran screaming “Rape! He was trying to rape me!”
Officers rushed to the scene to find the informant pulling his pants up. He was then subdued. The case is still under investigation.