i got scared when he put on really thick rubber gloves
I haven’t had any trouble with the police in san francisco in all the years I’ve lived out here. I can’t say that’s true of back east. Last night the cops came for me in a cruiser up a bike path in the golden gate parks’ panhandle. When I finally pulled my ten speed over, I told them I was John Thompson. And I told them all kinds of other lies. Like “I don’t have my I.D. with me.” I had been reading on some websites that I’m not required to provide my I.D. to the police.
They couldn’t find my fake name and date of birth/address in their computer, so they started to arrest me. The one cop pulled out the cuffs and had my arms locked behind my back while the other put some rubber gloves on and went through my pockets.
“You’re going downtown until we determine who you are.”
So I didn’t say anything until the rubber gloved cop put his hand on my wallet on my inside coat pocket. Then I was like a little canary, aka stool pigeon.
“Ok. I’m lying. My ID is in my wallet right there in your hand.”
Now the cops were even more pissed. Not only had I run a red light on a bicycle without a headlight, now I had broken one of those penal codes with numbers a dash and letters. Willfully providing false information to a police officer. A misdemeanor. And running the red light is a motor vehicle infraction even when you’re on a mid 80s Bianchi road bike.
I just wanted to go home after a pal’s birthday party downtown. Running a red light on a bicycle at 4 am is not something I want to be detained for. Moral of the story? I should have ran.
BTW I think I was profiled because I had a mustache and a bicycle. They kept asking me if I did meth. Or any psychedelics. At one point I said, “Is this all because of my mustache?”
I understand that these cops, two guys younger than me and probably from the suburbs, associate guys wearing brown leather jackets riding a bike as perpetrators of numerous DUI’s who no longer have a license but probably do have a stolen cd collectioin from a car a few blocks back. But this is San Francisco! I feel abused.
Comment by Rolston — November 10, 2007 @ 9:37 am
When we were in S.C. and walking everywhere the cops always gave us a dirty look, and so did everyone else. If you are walking or riding a bike it is because you are poor and probably got a DUI. I understand why they looked us over. I think the only reason they never hassled us is because my wife was with me. Me solo=busted.
My advice, don’t lie, just don’t tell them more than you have to tell them. i.e. my name is allen, i live on this bike, why are you pulling me over. Take the ticket and go to court, you have a better chance dressing up for some judge and telling him like it is than trying to explain it to jumpy, paranoid, quick to the trigger hotshots.
Good luck trying to explain the lying to a judge.
You may as well just bend over and take it like a man, bud.
The mustache is a direct assault on THEIR masculinity. If you trimmed it and made it look gay they would have asked if you had any poppers. You can’t win.
Man I hate the cops. Or any jackass with a superiority complex.
Wait that might be me.
The stache is still coming along fine and thanks for the props and the donation.
al
Comment by al — November 10, 2007 @ 9:05 pm
J.R., I’ve heard tales of your reckless driving and general lawlessness. Be thankful that this is your first run in with the popo. (I remember you driving in a red beater and the passenger door opened as we screeched onto Geary and cut off an oncoming car. Your knees were to your chest. The backseat was filled with junk. The clutch was visibly smoking. I struggled to close the door without falling out and you said “Cahful!” I looked behind us and saw several pedestrians flipping us the finger. I thought, Who is this madman and how did he get a license to drive?)
Don’t pay the ticket, of course (it’ll give you good material), but I think you were overdue.
Cops are generally brainwashed fucks, but I bet if you had pretended to be brain damaged with a piece of paper that says “My Name is jon rOlSton. I was in a car accident in 1995. I have a brain damage. Please call my guardian Oggy Bleacher at 310-823-….”
then they would have let you go. maybe even given you an escort home (poor guy). Only a brain injury would explain that mustache. I would get the call at 4 am:
“This is the SFPD. Do you know a Jon Rolston?”
“Jon? Of course. Is he alright? He didn’t do something stupid.”
“He ran a red light on a bike then said his name was Allen Ginsburg. Right now he’s adjusting the spokes on his bike and preaching about a scaly beast that lives in the Bay.”
“Ha. That’s Jon! He’s brain damaged.”
“That’s what this card says.”
“He’s harmless of course. I send him money. He can’t sleep at night because he believes his mother was a vampire. Just send him home. I’ll talk to him in the morning.”
“Why do you live in Los Angeles?”
“Would YOU live in the same city as that nut?”
If you’re going to lie to the police then let me help.
Comment by oggy — November 10, 2007 @ 10:08 pm
that sucks. but that ‘tache and a leather jacket in a dark park at 4am with hand cuffs? you better be glad the math didn’t work out some other kinda way.
Comment by carl@hotmail.com — November 11, 2007 @ 12:49 am
oggy–you’ve a brilliant brain, my friend.
and jon, you, a brilliant ‘stach.
don’t let the cops harsh your easy.
Comment by molly — November 15, 2007 @ 7:14 pm
Sonja asked today, if I was on a tricycle, would they have pulled me over? Could they legally?
They drove their police cruiser into a national park along a bike lane to pull me over for not having a headlight. One officer said to me they find a lot of guys with warrants this way.
I’m not legally required to have an id on my person.
They go around the law by saying they will take me in until they determine who I am.
Who wants to spend the time doing that? A night in a jail cell until they figure out who I am?
then let me go with a ticket.
They go around the law, I lie to them, I lose.
The point is, they will find a law you’ve broken and pull you over and detain you as long as they want. So don’t grow a mustache, ride a bike, or stay out after dark.
This town isn’t fun.
“If you hadn’t been doing anything wrong”…
I hear people saying it. If I had done right, I wouldn’t have been stopped. I hope they audit you, who ever just said that.
All in all, it ended great. It’s easy being white.
Comment by Rolston — November 15, 2007 @ 11:55 pm