It was a nice summer evening, my girl and I were walking from a Thai restaurant. On the corner where the free weeklies are in those metal boxes a homeless looking guy was standing around shaking change cupped in his hand.
“Can I have a quarter so I can get something to eat?†He asked me as I got closer.
“No, I don’t give out my money like that,†I answered him.
“Well fuck you,†he said to me.
I had been holding my girls hand, but I let go and stepped up to him. I started to say “Fuck you†back to him, but he punched me! He didn’t just punch me, he beat me up real good. I mean, I wasn’t expecting to get hit by a skinny old man with a dirty beard. He hit hard! And his left! He must have been a Golden Gloves fighter back in his day. Jesus! BAM! BAM! A real solid hitter! What soup line was he going to?
I fell backwards and my girlfriend screamed. The sidewalk hurt. The homeless guy was a wild animal, kicking me and calling me a yuppie asshole. Which isn’t true. I’m a hipster.
I laid there in a fetal ball until he quit booting me. He still had his change in his hand apparently, because he threw a handful at me as I lay there. My girl was screaming the whole time but didn’t try to stop him.
“Why didn’t you stop him?†I asked her.
“He was so dirty!†She said.
We broke up shortly after that. I think the homeless guy was part of it.