I used to use two trucks to jump the dual batteries in the pickup. Then I realized I could run two cables from one battery.
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February 11, 2010
February 8, 2010
sewing destruction
Today we’ll be learning to demo out existing seams to make way for a remodel. The client bought this cute fixer upper from the early 1960′s (see polyester building materials and dated button hardware) and has asked for a slimmer fit.
“There’s too much unused space in the ass,” says owner Jon Rolston. “Can you make it hug more in the nuts and make the jacket look less like a sack?”
We can. The first step is to rip out the waistband, pull off belt loops at the seam junctions, and then get the outer seams blown out.
Same as when you first start dating a gal, you’ll notice it slow going around the crotch. You got three layers of fabric bound together by the heavy duty thread of the button eye.
February 7, 2010
Tex
Tex is her name. She fired up the torch and went to work making jewelry while I loaded old broken shelving in the truck.
“I came here in ’52,” she told me.
I gotta set her up with Rusty Sunshine!
bad pipes don’t make great neighbors either
You’ve heard me mention the amazing Ian Dow before. May I introduce him to you now? Don’t shake his hand, it’s covered in the backed up rot from sewer pipes.
“Lettuce is terrible for garbage disposals,” he tells me. He should know.
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February 6, 2010
City gas stations are always on a corner. It’s smart. There’s a sign on the sign post advertising Amp. An energy drink from Mountain Dew.
The Dew is a gateway cola. You drank Moutain Dew as a kid and got all shaky and realized, “I can handle this.” You demanded more from your soda. Sparks offered to put malt liquor in it, but the government had to step in and remind everyone malt liquor isn’t for children.
“Energy drinks make me rapey,” Seth says as we walk past the sign, the black foreboding can and the green bolts of electricity that comprise the font.
“Yeah,” says Jeff. “You drink Mountain Dew and next thing you know you’re skydiving out of an airplane with a snowboard strapped to your feet. Whattaya think is gonna happen if you drink AMP?”
“You’re gonna rape things?” I ask.
“You’re certainly gonna try. Grocery stores. Hot dog buns. Nothings safe.”
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February 5, 2010
Not sure what I killed, but it all fit in the back of my truck. Ian stood in the road twenty five feet below to stop any cars that might want to be driving past the scene. I used safety sunglasses because things in California need to have panache.
February 2, 2010
Matt Conway sent me this picture. He didn’t know I spent all last night puking into various trash cans and toilets. Figures, doesn’t it, that I puke up the expensive meal from Delfina rather than the 5 dollar burrito I usually have? Anchovies and black olives coming right up! The third round of regurgitation was just water I’d drank. It hadn’t even adjusted to my internal body temperature, the cool water felt as equally refreshing in reverse.
January 30, 2010
The Chit Chat Cafe just got ten feet closer to the Pacific ocean. It’s the coffee shop a few blocks from the apartment buildings about to tumble down the crumbling cliff you see up there. A sleepy coast town called Pacifica getting hammered by stormy seas and heavy rains.
Nothing like a bit of danger and potential human suffering to bring in gawkers who need a latte as they stand gripping emergency cyclone fencing at the safety zone perimeter. Count me in.
