My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

May 2, 2012

home is where the heart is

When the comment praises me for the information I provide, or compliments my writing as helpful, then it’s spam. No one clicks on the link. Were a spam comment to say something like, “You sound like a real asshole here. Are you still fucking that cottage cheese container?” Then people will be tricked into clicking on the link.

When are homeless people gonna start using cell phones? I hired a long bearded guy the other day, he looked like Oggy Bleacher and was just walking by the dumpster where I was working.

“Wanna help paint?”

“Yeah, sure.”

It was that easy. He was from Belmont California, just a few miles south and home of MRIPs friend, Papa Sean. Wouldn’t you expect him to be from Philly or Jersey or something? Not a local boy. Anyway, this homeless guy used to clean pools in Woodside, Rusty Sunshine’s territory, then he started smoking meth. Now he’s painting a fence around a dumpster, one built to keep people like him out.

“You know any homeless people with cell phones?”

“Some people find them. You can sell them to the Mexicans for $20.”

“Why do people who have no home collect so much shit in shopping carts?”

“That’s the meth.”

“Who’s a homeless hero?”

“whatta-ya mean?”

“Are there any heroes in the homeless community?”

“Glide feeds us. They’re heroes.”

Glide is a church in the Tenderloin, and I was hoping to hear about a homeless guy who has figured out how to hack into ATM’s and spends the money throwing bbq’s out by the train tracks. But being homeless really isn’t glamorous like that.


  1. That’s why we can’t keep nice things! The Internet used to be nice. Well, maybe I have a vague memory of the Internet being nice. Now it’s spam, spam and more spam. tragic.

    But keep up the good work. I like your writing style and will conintue to check in and see what you have to say.

    Comment by lower88rider — May 3, 2012 @ 6:19 am

  2. your texts are worthy a trophy, congratulations.

    Comment by Claudine — May 4, 2012 @ 8:01 am

  3. Honkeys are heroes

    Comment by TaylorSwift — May 4, 2012 @ 9:57 am

  4. Interesting. You raise some good points and I thank you. Come chat on the varicose landscape of my demise. Crippled news anchor works through holes in her barbie doll. Take the A train to the Harlem center and eat the first sausage and peanut sauce you find in the gardens of your memory. Walk a long mile in circles through the spam comments and find the tail that bit you. You exhibit brave backbone by continuing your super reporting in the face of these anonymous attacks.

    Comment by Oggy — May 4, 2012 @ 11:25 pm

  5. it was a great experience to read such kind of great work i really enjoyed while reading this article.

    Comment by Brígida — May 5, 2012 @ 4:43 am

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