My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

An old friend came to town from New York, where she works as a nurse delivering babies. She asks incoming parents, “Have you made a decision about circumcision?”

“The worst answer,” she tells me, “is ‘Yes, of course. I think. Right honey?’”

San Francisco made the wacky liberal news for trying to ban circumcision for any male under 18 years of age. Isn’t that crazy? Why would you ban that?

Well, let me speak frankly. I’ve been circumcised. My penis is no longer an errogenous zone. I must think about killing my girlfriend in order to have a climax. Sexual intercourse is not sufficient stimulation. A doctor cut away a large part of the sensitive tissue on my sex organ. Now I have to use my mind. Fucking your wife with your mind isn’t what nature intended. The poor women must endure this insensitive inchoate jackrabbitting while you, the man, conjure up what it must feel like down there meanwhile imagining sexy thoughts from lingerie catalogs

“But look how long I can last,” says a friend. “If I wasn’t circumcised, it’d be over in 30 seconds.”

That’s exactly the point. Lasting all night means your penis is basically a wooden mallet that you hammer away at with. Is this what God intended? Oh, let’s not bring God into it, because that invites religion as well. And this whole thing is a religious thing.

Or is it? “It prevents disease,” say the supporters. For 90% of males, if you wash your penis regularly and correctly, you won’t have any problems. The fact I never have a urinary tract infection is not worth the trade off of needing a crack pipe, streaming porn with six windows open, and a length of rope tight around my neck in order to ejaculate.

UTI’s are common in women and they deal with it by drinking cranberry juice. I can drink juice too. It would bring me to a better understanding of their pain if we shared this common ailment.

I’ve used some hard language and portrayed some rough scenes, but we are talking about sex and I only have a few minutes. My circumcised penis has led to a general deadening of human emotions. The most delicate, intimate touch has been removed and all is now slaps and grunts, shoving things into place and guessing what will happen.