Warning: session_start(): open(/var/php_sessions/sess_cb6d4a461b33d9856e137e73bcc56615, O_RDWR) failed: No such file or directory (2) in /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 121 Warning: session_start(): Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php:121) in /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 121 Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp_base in /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class.php on line 56 Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp in /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class_sockets.php on line 8 My Robot Is Pregnant » why am i here? (online)

My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

February 26, 2010

why am i here? (online)

This month has been busy, working a lot if unpaid hours trying to get my business stepped up a level and struggling to control my pack rat tendencies.

It has led to a peculiar existential crisis: an online identity crisis. What is the purpose of blogging? What’s this blog for? The answer can’t be “fun”. Sometimes I go to bed rather than upload a post. Other times I press “publish” and wish it had been “delete” instead. It seems uninspired. But I wordpress on.

Have psychologists been contacted for help from a patient who is adjusted in offline life but can’t figure out where they belong in cyberspace? Am I getting to the age where I should be blogging about my children instead of myself? Should I concentrate more energy on rolstonhauls.com instead of this space? I have my career to consider after all and MRIP is a money loser.

It’s a way to share, a form of bragging, a stab at fame, an illusion of immortality. Some part of all that.


  1. what the hell? go away for months and come back to hear you whining about,”what am i doing this for?” buster, i’m not psychologist and perhaps i love thai foods too much but, you keep this blog to write and have a voice. it’s a way to keep from turning into a being that only counts money and rubs one out every day or night.

    now, should you focus on your business? yes, focus on all of it personal, romantic, spiritual, musical and civic. that said maybe, let the writing be the last thing to go.

    don’t become a taxi driver with a phd in philosophy. work but love. count money but write.

    you might appreciate the book,”Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work”

    Comment by likeyoudontknow — February 26, 2010 @ 5:24 pm

  2. I was hoping it would be more funny than whiny. The online existential crisis and all. I can’t deal with the pressure of trying to please you with my online persona! But don’t leave me for so long next time. Stay with me. Whisper sweet comments in my ear.

    Comment by Rolston — February 27, 2010 @ 11:29 am

  3. yup. some part of all of that. exactly.

    Comment by molly — February 27, 2010 @ 4:44 pm

  4. I don’t understand, how do you get away with leaving your shit all over the city like that?

    Does anyone write novels online? I was thinking it would be pretty interesting to let readers in on that process. Would it be better or worse to be getting all that feedback during the creative process?

    Comment by Lyle_S — February 27, 2010 @ 7:03 pm

  5. I should have some comment that wraps this whole issue up but I’ve been drinking vodka and am drawing an “Absolut Blank” haha.
    I guess, it’s a leading question. Asking your blog audience why you are blogging? It’s sort of self evident. You are curious about the world and sometimes believe you have witnessed unusual events or have analyzed usual events unusually, and therefore wish to share your analysis either to move on, or else to determine if others share your appreciation and curiosity and reflective persona.

    We used to write journals and diarys but that was when we thought our secret thoughts were secret. Now we know we are totally normal in our abnormality and we can confess just about anything online and readers will either barely blink or else chuckle and move on. There is literally nothing that will shock people anymore. Prozac has finally saturated our drinking water.
    I compared Hannah Montana to an inflatable fuck doll and I laughed only because I knew this revelation would in no way offend anyone. Now it’s become a self referential anecdote that’s vaguely amusing…but for the wrong reasons.

    I think, Mr. Hobo, that you are in a digital rut. The half life of silicon is a few hundred years so these words are mere infants. These words are no different than the children of your peers. They will grow up and vanish into dust. The difference is that the children will cause some grief before they are through. Maybe you should write some words that cause you grief. If I thought I could hurt you then I would do that…you fucking dirty wino.

    I should mention that you are politically neutral at a time when the bad guys are winning. That’s all they need to win. You don’t have to believe in the cause since it is enough just to want the other guys to lose. Fuck Sarah Palin!

    Comment by oggy — February 28, 2010 @ 12:04 pm

Notice: comments_rss_link is deprecated since version 2.5.0! Use post_comments_feed_link() instead. in /hermes/bosnaweb19a/b1035/ipw.myroboti/public_html/restore/wordpress/wp-includes/functions.php on line 3832 RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress | Managed by Whole Boar

Warning: Unknown: open(/var/php_sessions/sess_cb6d4a461b33d9856e137e73bcc56615, O_RDWR) failed: No such file or directory (2) in Unknown on line 0 Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/var/php_sessions) in Unknown on line 0