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tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

July 23, 2009

why is getting high so easy and loving someone so hard?

Who doesn’t want to feel good? Dating someone is like bashing your head against a wall. At times. Then you have incredible highs as well. So you’ve broken up and you are home alone and it doesn’t feel right. Can you ride the blues alone through another night? Probably not. Maybe its gin and tonic. Maybe you crush up some codeine. Maybe you call your ex. It’s all about trying to feel good again.

Most people are on Myspace or Facebook. I on the other hand, have my own website. Where I call the shots. Mark me down as a control freak. Must be hard for me to have a meaningful relationship if there’s no give and take.

The women that love me are the ones that want to rescue me. But I want to ride the blues alone. I called in Chinese take out. Sesame chicken. Pot stickers. Food for one. My fortune read, “Your luck will completely change tonight”. I fought the cat off the table and ate with chopsticks. He likes to jump up and try to grab your dinner. Those women ought to know, I have a cat. I’m not alone.

All you married men out there, you ever wish you were all alone and blue? Ever wish you could wash the dishes without any noise in the house, not even a radio? You run the sponge over a few glasses and a plate. You rinse them and set them in the drying rack. The only light is the kitchen and it spills itself out into other rooms so you can see a chair leg, a coat on a hook. You could water the little cactus on top of the refrigerator if you wanted to feel important. Start a load of laundry. It’s night time.

Do my married friends ever feel alone? Is that why children make so much noise? They come into this world so you aren’t alone. Constantly they scream or cry or turn up the television so that you can see you have spread yourself out into the world. You aren’t alone, you have parts of yourself in your children. “How can I be alone? My son is in the other room practicing his guitar.” You and your wife are lying in bed and I want to know if you’ve felt lonely at that time. Married friends, do you ever wish you were alone?

4 Comments

  1. Love your blog.
    Loved our time in SF.
    Hope to see you again sometime.

    ~Joy

    Comment by Joy — July 23, 2009 @ 1:25 am

  2. Thanks! Tell Celine I finally mailed the bag she left behind. Sorry I lagged! Someday I’ll make it to the Netherlands…

    Comment by Rolston — July 23, 2009 @ 1:49 am

  3. Yes being alone is pretty kick ass when you know that it will end shortly.

    Comment by Lyle_S — July 23, 2009 @ 6:01 pm

  4. last moments of life – definitely alone but don’t want to say my last words to a housecat.

    Also, orgasm, grocery shopping,slow dancing, excuse to leave the party early, public laughter – none of these are much fun alone.

    Comment by n.d.p. — July 24, 2009 @ 11:24 pm

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