from the craigslist post:
“Everything is in working order, plenty of tread on the tires and brake pads are fine. Only a rear brake on this one. Has scratches on frame from normal kids use but nothing is broken or dented. It is black and kinda hard to see in the photo, but well worth the $40 bucks for a bike you can ride away. It’s 12 inches from crank to seat post.”
Ian, the english accent guy who gets me work sometimes, paid me to haul off his son’s bike. I put it up on craigslist, and this is the following email exchange with someone about it.
Before we begin, let me remind you. I, like many other drunks, am very sensitive. That’s what makes me a tough guy. I’m ready to fight at the smallest perceived attack. Watch how psycho I get.
buyer: eh what’s up with your diamond back??? still got it???
me: still for sale
B: what’s with it, is it a viper with the diamond plate between the frame?? or is it something else??
what size inner tubes?? 20″ or 26″
Me: this is a 20003 kids bike from diamond back, 129 bucks new
B: i thought it looked like garbage, thanks… i hate kids bikes
Me:you’re grown up?
(five minutes later I feel like a douche for sending that email, so I send an apology)
Who ever you are, I apologize. I didn’t particularly want to hear my stuff be called garbage, but fuck it, this is america. say what you think.
B: in all truth, i must apologize, it’s not that it’s garbage, it’s a diamond back – i said it’s garbage as in it’s a kid bike – i can’t ride a kid’s bike, it’s no good to me, sorry if you mistook that – diamond back’s especially the viper is the king of all bikes, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear – but your right, it’s america so fuck it.. it’s still garbage compared to what I’m looking for, I couldn’t even ride that down a hill without it attempting to bust my shin’s open all the way down…. thanks for the reply – i’m trying to find a viper or gt performer to ride out to the city – down san pablo ave, down e14th, and hang it around the san francisco bay and back up… wish it wasnt a kid’s bike…
Me: That was a cool email. Thanks for leveling with me. I do have an old Hutch from 1986, which , if you want to have a productive argument, is the king of bmx bikes. I want 200 for it, and it’s ready to ride. Not all original parts, but all of the era parts. Kinda beat up, but worth more than 200.
If you don’t do Hutch, good luck in your hunt. Thanks for painting that picture of you cruising in style….
peace,
rolston
B: Thanks for not being to upset. I can’t ride a kid’s bike, I was hoping that the diamond back was the old school 80’s viper, all chrome hopefully just painted black and looking a bit off from the horrible perspective across the www. My brother’s got a hutch, or had one. Some one ripped
it off his porch. You know aside the rest of the folks strewn about the www, your the first person i had respond using the word fuck, or wouldn’t have even botherd. Thanks for the offer on the hutch though. I wouldnt mind finding my old mongoose I lost a while back, some one
got off my porch. I was in my house for like 14 seconds.. snatched.
laterzz
At the end I offer my name, and then slip in an offer to upsell. Sometimes, when I look back on what I’ve done, I don’t think I like myself.
