My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

November 28, 2008

thanks a lot

I volunteered this morning at the foodbank. Was a little hungover, and kind of grouchy I suppose. They had me standing at a table putting mashed potato scoops into to-go tubs.

“Hey, I need a chair,” I told this chipper Christian in charge of the operation.

“Every chair is full out there in the dining room and there’s a line two blocks long to get in,” he said.

“Look, someone out there better get thankful I’m even here putting two full scoops of mashed potatos in a plastic box and get up off their ass and bring me their chair.”

I doubt I’m the first man to be kicked out of a soup kitchen, but I’m probably the first man from the other side of the line to be asked to leave. I can’t wait for Christmas.


  1. you should have just grabbed a chair on the way out and said “Fine, All I need is this chair.”

    Comment by al — November 28, 2008 @ 3:44 pm

  2. After getting punched in the chest by the ole man he used to say “Put some grattitude in your attitude”
    I’d like not to pass that one on,,,,,,,but job you are a saint and should have been furnished with a Chaise Lounge

    Comment by Anonymous — November 28, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

  3. Jon, don’t forget about all the good scooping and volunteer effort you put in up to that moment. At the end of the day, you’re a net good guy. And a foodbank ought to take care of their volunteers. It’s not like what you said was really that bad.

    Comment by Lyle_S — November 28, 2008 @ 7:55 pm

  4. Holiday volunteer poseurs really piss me off. Next time, just write a check and stay home faux santa dude !

    Comment by flamingsparkler — November 29, 2008 @ 7:38 pm

  5. people that I piss off really piss me off…so where do I send the check?

    Comment by Rolston — November 29, 2008 @ 7:45 pm

  6. send the check to : Dick Flamingsparkler
    32 Semenstuffed Street
    Ballsack, OH

    Comment by Rodger — December 3, 2008 @ 8:36 am

  7. check your box!

    Comment by Rolston — December 4, 2008 @ 12:26 am

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