My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

July 24, 2008

donut redux

Here’s a different angle on the donut narration. Is this a better direction?

Donuts and drugs. They go hand in hand – like beer…and hot dogs. You walk out of a bar and see some Latin dude rolling franks around on a hot piece of tin and your heart cries out “Street dogs!” You fish out your wallet… “Here’s three bucks, I want one with everything on it, extra hot peppers”. That’s what pints do to you.

Druggies are different. They go for the sugar buzz. From weed to speed they need the rush.

For me a donut is like casual sex. I think about it, get excited, and do it. Soon as I’m done, I feel terrible. A pain in my stomach. Remorse and shame. I say I’ll never do it again. I promise, and then a few days later, I smell the perfume wafting down the sidewalk. I get dizzy. I walk in the shop and there she is…with a pretty pink skirt of frosting, beautiful rainbow sprinkle jewelry. Soft and round. And that hole in the middle…

The donut hole. Why don’t they have bagel holes? They have donut holes, but as for the bagels, they remain missing. They’re very different things of course. You wouldn’t put eggs on a donut. Totally acceptable for bagels. As for bagel holes, you’d never get the little things out with out turning the toaster upside down and shaking the bejeezus out of it.


  1. ahh. that’s better, ……Lyle It started with the chimney i took down, a guy that used to be on the board (HDC) is now disgruntled he has served his terms and is termed out, THe board is comprised of volunteers with a background in a little of everything, A realator, a lawyer, and an architech, tradesman, craftsman and so on, well this prick Dave A—- i believe is the busy body with nothin else better to do than stir up bullshit, after hearing about the chimney needing to go back up, after i took it down one by one, I was using Jim Sanders fork truck to lift dave up to carefully gather the paint chips off the little roof about 8′ high, and a state vehicle pulled up and a little guy got out with red hair and 500 freckles and said “Hi Are you the painter”??? I said “yeah” with enthusiasm, like the fuckin guy was gonna ask me to paint the state capital building. “Is that your employee”? Pointing to dave, I said no he is helping me take the tarp down, He repied ” I am chris so and so from OSHA we got a call from a neighbor stating there was unsafe staging being used, I said you drove all the way out here for me? He said yep.Then he added that congress had made painters exempt from alot of regulations but he would give the pics he took of dave on the fork truck to his boss, and he would be in touch, I just got it certified in the mail, that cock called the state to report there was a hard worker trying to make a living, fat fucks with too much money and not enough to do will ruin your day, he lives a block away.Bottom line is I had to fax him 3 statements form the G.C the owner of the building and dave himself stating i was the only one painting, meanwhile the osha guy leaves without even walking around back where they were using chainsaws and swingin from staging huckin hammers. hopefully i am exonerated, but don’t feel sorry for me just send cash,

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 24, 2008 @ 6:56 pm

  2. Deerskinm,,,,,,, I get what you mean about the casual sex deal, guilty fro sure, maybe i am guilty on the osha thing as well, i just want to live, i have the right to live, don’t eat the dognuts, just screw em,,,,,,, there is no shame or stomache pain in that, thank your dear

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 25, 2008 @ 2:06 am

  3. Although this doughnut commentary is amusing it’s a fuck less interesting than the original. Funny but “light”.
    Think of it as a “Krispy Kreme” compared to the original “Bob’s”.

    Mr Pooperlooper – I feel your pain, few white people on this planet hate the greedy, fat, rich fucks more than I do.
    The only consolation I can offer you is, that you don’t live in the EU, where the “Health and Safety Authority” leers down from somewhere in Brussels forcing the hardworking pogues of Europe to jump through the most ridiculous hoops in the name of safety.
    At the end of the day it’s all about lining the government pockets and preventing the populace from climbing the economic ladder.
    I aint looking to start it, but if it comes – I’ll be the giggling fool holding the gas can and the matches.

    Comment by Poll — July 25, 2008 @ 6:53 am

  4. I never stopped to ask myself why the Pogues called themselves the Pogues. What’s it mean Poll? working stiff?

    Comment by Rolston — July 25, 2008 @ 8:42 am

  5. Yeah it is like a self fullfilling prophecy, fining the worker to pay for the cause, start a business of fining people to finance your own existance, that’s nothing less then taxation without representation, thank goodness for the revolutionary war

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 25, 2008 @ 8:56 am

  6. I like the comparison to easy women. Next time I get a donut I’m going to nibble off all that frosting and stick my dick in the donut hole.

    Comment by Lyle_s — July 25, 2008 @ 12:19 pm

  7. Mr. Pooper, I did a little research for you, and you will have to keep looking for your busy body with nothing better to do than stir up bullshit. Dave A—- is a hammer slinger himself. He is a contractor who has been in business with my dad for 30 years (even worked with Donny’s pops at one point) The part about the HDC is correct though, he was termed out. In his time on HDC he probably pissed a few folks off, evidently including whoever told you Dave A—- was the rat. Who was is that tipped you off? someone that wanted dave to feel the wrath of pooperlooper.

    (editor’s note: I took out the guys last name by request)

    Comment by nate — July 25, 2008 @ 4:35 pm

  8. Okay Jon, deep breath :
    Pogue in Irish means “kiss”. The original name of the band was “pogue mo thoin” (pog ma hoyn) which means “kiss my arse”, a very common insult in Irish. (I only did two semesters, so I only learnt the basics).

    “Pogue in the sense that I used it here has an entirely different meaning and is a hangover from my days as a grunt in the British Army, though I believe the word is American in origin. It refers to the lowest of the low, usually as a derogatory term similar to REMF (Rear Echelon Mother Fucker).
    These individuals are generally considered lower than Grunts and therefore often get the shitty end of the stick. To that end anyone getting a shitty deal from those in authority is a “poor working Pogue”.

    Of course I’m only speaking from my own experience and I know that slang terms and their meanings become mutated with time and geography (fuck knows I’ve been exposed to plenty of both). I’d check before using it if I were you, to make sure you can justify it’s meaning.

    Comment by Poll — July 25, 2008 @ 5:25 pm

  9. nate, swingin a hammer doesn’t mean you can make a call to old ties in the district to make issues with historic preference, it was an issue before this, I take responsibility for my actions. Busy body was harsh, how about and overlyconcerned resident. I reserve the right to vent on a website, keeps the jail time down, The whole thing is not a secret, but hey improper staging was the complaint and who better to know the difference. Gas labor and half day in concord. good to hear from ya buddy. how’s everything? did you see haskins??

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 25, 2008 @ 5:55 pm

  10. yikes, no disrespect to your dad he is the coolest guy i know,

    …………..HHmmm Tim W—–???

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 26, 2008 @ 1:30 am

  11. i loooooove this direction.

    Comment by molly — July 26, 2008 @ 10:45 am

  12. Of the donut story or the comments? I love how the comments have taken on a whole life of their own. Everyone jump in!

    Comment by Rolston — July 26, 2008 @ 11:09 am

  13. I miss you jon, come with donny, Please thankyou

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 26, 2008 @ 4:44 pm

  14. Where’s my invite, you douche?

    Comment by Lyle_s — July 26, 2008 @ 8:19 pm

  15. hahhahhaha bring your guitar, lyle

    Comment by mr, pooperlooper — July 27, 2008 @ 3:18 am

  16. hey all, this is maybe way off the thread here but on the subject of donuts i’m wondering how this new Cali law against trans fats in restaurants is going to impact the donut making peoples and their industry, as well as us fellow donut eaters. Are real donuts going underground?

    Comment by z — July 27, 2008 @ 12:31 pm

  17. Looks like you can get a taste of the future of donuts in LA:

    I don’t know what this means for your Cambodian donut shops. Probably $20-30 extra a week for canola oil. Sounds like a cost that can be passed on to the consumer by raising prices 10 cents. Fear not, unless the donuts taste like crap.

    Comment by Lyle_s — July 28, 2008 @ 5:32 am

  18. Thanks Lyle!

    Comment by Rolston — July 29, 2008 @ 12:49 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress | Managed by Whole Boar