My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

May 31, 2008

plant rescue

There are Rescue Leagues for German Shephards, Boxers, Chihuahua’s, and every other breed of dog out there. People can adopt these animals that have come from abusive situations. I happen to adopt neglected plants from broken homes. Take the above lonely fellah. He was fed bong water for breakfast lunch and dinner. He spent his days in a dimly lit room staring out the window through the gossamer fabric of perpetually drawn curtains stoned from his roots to his shoots.

“I’m not a bad plant mommy,” his mother told me. “It’s the apartment. It gets no light.”

Well, people justify all types of bad behavior. Luckily the plant is with me now, and will receive a proper diet and plenty of natural light.


  1. Great Photo Jon!

    Comment by J Landry — June 1, 2008 @ 5:15 am

  2. whoreticulturist! you’ll take in ANY plant.

    Comment by p — June 2, 2008 @ 11:11 am

  3. much to everyone’s staunch disbelief, my plants have historically THRIVED on bong water. my personal hypothesis on the survivability of *this* plant is simply that it hasn’t had enough. go figure.

    Comment by ellie — June 2, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

  4. Have you tried feeding them mushroom tea?

    Comment by Rolston — June 2, 2008 @ 11:07 pm

  5. i’ve recently rescued an acorn squash seedling from my garbage disposer….on a recent return to my apartment after a weeklong absence, i found the anemic little survivor peeping out between the rubber flaps of my drain. he was stretching up from the squash guts i had discarded and forgot to “dispose” of…he’s been doing his little sunshine dance in a modified sour cream container for about a month now, sporting 8 heart-shaped leaves and a bobble of three baby blossoms! plant rescue!

    Comment by sarah bean — June 3, 2008 @ 10:20 am

  6. any pictures of it coming up out of the drain?

    Comment by Rolston — June 4, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

  7. damn, didn’t think of that at the time…too surprised…putting my hand down the drain and pulling up its’ bed of guts kinda freaked me for a moment!

    Comment by sarah bean — June 6, 2008 @ 3:13 pm

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