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My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

March 25, 2008

I must be boring because I’m bored as hell.

I’m over my creative peak and looking for inspiration. Does anyone have any requests? Are you interested in an uninformed opinion on something? Would you like to hear me tell the other side of an old story? Shall I mash up your favorite authors? I’d appreciate a friendly push to get me out of this slump.

8 Comments

  1. Well, you really blew your load on the last entry. There’s really nowhere you can go from there. Speaking of, they tore out the “viewing booths” over at The 5th Wheel porn shop in NH. I was driving by as they were throwing the cheap hollow doors of the nixed booths into a dumpster. For a moment I thought to myself; someone should really save those doors. Like back-alley monocromatic Jackson Pollock on board. The historic district had no jurisdiction. Who’s to decide which elements of our history are worth preserving? This is how whole cultures are lost.

    Comment by millar — March 25, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

  2. I never even knew they had viewing booths there! Another missed opportunity.

    If you feel like doing something hands on, I could use some help building a prototype seat cushion for going to baseball games. It should have a built-in catheter.

    Comment by Lyle_s — March 25, 2008 @ 4:31 pm

  3. Let me tell you a little something about the viewing booths at the 5th wheel. They get a D- from Mr. Oggy Bleacher because there was no privacy at all. Only the horrible horrible booths at the former Pete’s Palace get the lowest grade because there was nothing but a string across the door. And the fucking “seats” were a slanted platform that provided no leverage when I had to do my business. My goddamn flip flips were slipping all over the ejaculate on the vinyl floor! What kind of a place allows that? Don’t even get me started on their “selection” of videos from two decades ago.
    But the 5th Wheel wasn’t much better. The doors didn’t lock and anyone could and did just barge in on you. It ranks with that other adult store around the traffic circle, which had the booths (no doors) right next to the cash register so the lady could sit and watch me watch my video of choice. That’s no good. The three stores were a disappointment after the heaven of S.F. Can a culture be judged by it’s porn? Well, Portsmouth is living in 1948.

    As far as you being boring, J, that’s nonsense. Let me tell you that you are first pick to play Frank Zappa in my planned biopic “Mothers of Destruction”. So, to keep you busy, I need you to practice playing music on a bicycle tire (the spokes), grow a pony tail, and take some acid. And stay away from the Lusty Lady viewing booths!

    Comment by oggy — March 25, 2008 @ 9:02 pm

  4. I grew up down the road from Peter, of Peter’s Palace fame. Greenland was a strange town.

    Lyle, i like the idea of the seat cushion. It is empty when you bring it in so it can fold up into your pocket. Then you insert the catheter and the more you pee, the more the cushion inflates. At the end of the game you empty it on who ever irritated you the most and pack it up and go home.

    Oggy, I’ve got the nose for the role. I’m ready.

    Comment by Rolston — March 28, 2008 @ 5:13 pm

  5. I had this discussion the other day and I think it would be wise to have the seat cushion not change size when filled. For one, it wouldn’t be much of a cushion if it started out deflated. Two, I’d be concerned that the pressure of the person sitting on the cushion would be too much to allow waste to flow into it. Could you imagine having filled the cushion up pretty well, only to sit down on it and have all that stuff pushed back into your body??? Yeeech

    Comment by Lyle_s — March 29, 2008 @ 12:42 pm

  6. Starting out empty would be an incentive to drink, so that’s not a problem, but you’re 100% right about the back flow issue.

    Comment by Rolston — March 29, 2008 @ 3:15 pm

  7. you non-engineers ever hear of a one way valve? also you would have a higher vantage point as the game wore on. and the 98.6 degree seat would be nice on those late season foxborough games. keep your nachos warm. if anyone’s still reading this thread.

    Comment by donny laundry — April 7, 2008 @ 8:14 pm

  8. the one way valve would have to be pressurized, because your urine stream can’t compete against the pressure of 200 pounds body weight trying to squeeze the piss back out, right?

    Comment by Rolston — April 7, 2008 @ 9:13 pm

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