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My Robot Is Pregnant theme song!

tough guy poetry and manly stories of loneliness
all contents copyright Jon Rolston 2004, 2005, 2006

June 17, 2007

Marika, this one’s for you.


Briar was right, it was a dancing kitty, not a cow.
This is the season of celebrating independence, so get out there old people and
shake a tail feather! Shake your money maker! Shake it like it’s got pepper in it!
Shake it like it’s Dairy Queen! Shake it like a Shaker barn raising! Shake it like Vegas dice! Shake it like a Pop-O-Matic bubble! Shake it like it ain’t your baby! (Not really)
Shake it like downtown ‘frisco in 1906! Shake it like Pompeii! Shake it like you’re scared!
Put it under your armpit like a Polaroid! Shake it like it kept your change!  Then rattle and roll!

16 shopping days left!


17 days till I turn 35. Feel free to stuff an envelope full of old papers and mail to

Jon Rolston
604 30th ave
SF CA 94121
This postcard was mailed July 6th, 1910.

I’m planning a skink hunt on my birthday. Everyone’s invited.

June 16, 2007

heartache and blueballs

I wrote and recorded this song in two hours this morning.  six tracks, all first takes.  My inability to keep time with a drum amazes me.

The South’s Pants Will Rise Again

DATELINE – Louisiana

Delcambre town council has drafted legislation that will ban low rise jeans that reveal your underwear. Check out the article in the BBC. In the article Mayor Carol Broussard says it isn’t targeting blacks, because “white people wear saggy pants too.”

The point is, this law is targeting black culture, which some white people are drawn to. That’s the problem! Why is there no law to prevent breast cleavage from showing, or how about a ban on tight ass jeans from europe that show the exposed skin-ridge of a dick-head post-circumcision right through the fabric?

I hate this law.


June 15, 2007

Cafe Gratitude, Raw Food Review

“The hippies were giving me a headache. I found myself wondering if maybe our waitress should be wearing protective hair nets under her armpits while serving raw food.
The names of everything annoyed me. Just give me some coffee dammit. I’m not courageous, I’m just a hungry and bitchy. Stop trying to make me say nice things to myself. I will later, when I’m drunk and on pills.”

That review came from yelp! about Cafe Gratitude, a raw food/vegan joint. And when I say joint, I mean it pharmaceutically.

I had the I AM CHEERFUL Burger. (Every entree is an affirmation.) The burger was not meat, but as is described on the menu:
Sprouted pumpkin seed and walnut burger served on a sweet onion sunflower bread
with lettuce, sliced tomato, onion, house made catsup, cucumber pickles and sprouts.

It was delicious. The servers all run around dancing and hugging each other and telling you you are special and beautiful. Places like this make me glad to live in a city.

June 14, 2007




This was a folder I had in 8th grade.  My mom bought it for me, and one
with Ozzy one it, from the Bark At The Moon album.

June 12, 2007

a new hallmark card


Prison sucks.

hue and saturation


when i’m an old woman i’m gonna rock a guitar


Our good friend Sean MacDonald had an art show, and sold his handsome
handmade book.  This old pistol was out front bringing down the house with
her handmade electric guitar.

How to remove bees from your home


Rusty gave a call, had some bees settin’ up shop in the wall to the house. Took his hammer drill and punched out some holes in the stucco. The lady bees inside didn’t care for the racket.


“Looks like you’re leakin’ bees, Rus,” I hollered. He was standing quite a bit back under the trees.

“Hope you zipped up your fly, fellah,” he hollered back.


Here’s the problem. Someone put a box of Honeycombs in his wall.


Had to reach up inside there and pull out lots of comb. Glove covered in honey, honey covered in bees.


Threw the comb in an old joint compound bucket. Swarms go for about a hundred bucks these days, since so many hives are dying off. Long as I got the queen in that mess there I’ll be alright.


You can see the hole that got punched in the wall, lots of confused lady bees looking for a place to put their nectar. Like to take a moment and draw your attention to the beekeeping gloves Rus rigged up for me. He duct taped some leather-palmed work gloves to the sleeves of my jacket. The bees couldn’t sting through the leather, but you’ll notice the back of my hand isn’t protected with it. They got me quite a few times, and I couldn’t pull the stingers out what with my other hand done up in a similar fashion.

We used some old window screens taped in a cylinder around my head to keep them off my face. Not recommended.

Greenland New Hampshire


This is where kindergarten through 8th grade went to school back home. There was a brick addition on the back for a gym and the seventh and eighth graders – built much later than this photo.

I’m surprised I can spell my own name correctly.


Small towns often have a volunteer fire department, we also had a volunteer bus driver.
Tom Gowen was hell on wheels but he got the kids to school on time and they were
definitely wide awake.  Many of us didn’t stop wetting our pants until well into
sixth grade.

June 11, 2007

I am for the majestic art of dog-turds, rising like cathedrals.


Claes Oldenburg wrote this manifesto in May 1961. His theory was
that he wanted to move art out of the museums and into the streets.

Seems to be he’s describing the homeless rubber tramps who pull a fifth wheel behind their RV. (Looks like the Toyota I lived in for a month on the National Dinner Tour)

Thanks to Jason Landry for introducing me to him.

June 10, 2007



I finally got another camera. It’s so exciting!  I won’t let any of this country graffiti pass me by.

June 9, 2007

moral: ask for help or you’ll do something unnatural


Right? Pilgrims didn’t want to be told what to do so they left home and did it their own way. Which led to a genocide of native americans, which is why i have the above caution about going overboard on DIY mentality.

illustrated email part two


here’s vic’s email, as illustrated by me. She didn’t know
I was going to use it. She may still not know I’ve done it.

I keep a little notebook with me, to keep track of work hours and little thoughts. Here are some bits from it:

current art cliches’

deer antlers, sillouhettes, graffitti, large format, found objects, cell phone pics. Make a collage of each of these elements. i.e. sillohette of deer antlers silkscreened onto a chipped paint piece of wood found behind a warehouse, then take a low res cell phone pic of it, blow it up to 9′ by 6′ so it pixilates and washes out, write a phrase found in a engineering manual in tattoo flash font across it. rule the art scene for over two months…

(only thing i missed was a photo of a boring space, i.e. an office chair in an empty office, the corner of a ceiling in a motel lobby)

talking to my producer, dave luzius

“if we lived in geodesic domes, would painting be as important?” probably not, because it would be hard to hang flat square onto concave surfaces. Sculpture would be more important.

debt free= freedom
capitalism clashes with that formula

why don’t we imprison people for debt anymore, but we do for smoking pot? because debt is important to our system, as far as people in charge are concerned.
find The New Basis of Civilisation by simon nelson pattern (1907) he says
“keep workers in debt to keep them working. There is a discipling nature to debt.”

There is an emerging german hip hop scene. A.G.R.O. is a hip hop label there. it taps into a street culture of Turk and Arab ghetto kids claiming hip hop as their own.

Doug, from the flagpoles,”Ever wake a guy up on the couch when you’re smoking bong hits, and ask him if he wants a hit? And he takes a rip then goes back to sleep? That’s funny.”

last night with sean, talking about a guy who ripped his nutsack open on a ski during a mountain crash. “they put a lampshade on his head like a dog so he wouldn’t try to rip out the stitches.” “they put chastity gloves on him so he couldn’t jerk off.”

back in new hampshire when there is a trailer with a room built on to it it’s called a Seabrook addition. Seabrook is the town with the nuclear power plant and the dog track.

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